- Hesh: I, I guess what struck me most was, she didn't mince words, in between brain and mouth there was no interlocutor.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I brought you some books on tape since you say you can't concentrate to read.
- Livia Soprano: I wish The Lord would take me now!
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Well... in the meantime.
- [Tony disapproves of Meadow's new boyfriend because he is black]
- Carmela Soprano: If you want her to be with him, just keep playing the race card. You're gonna drive her right into his arms.
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Not if I cut off those fuckin' arms.
- Carmela Soprano: This is such a crock of shit.
- Mary DeAngelis: Carmela.
- Carmela Soprano: I'm sitting here thinking I should protect my children from the truth about their grandmother on the one hand. On the other I'm saying to myself, what kind of example am I setting? Evading and smiling, passing out cheese puffs - over a woman we know was terribly dysfunctional! Who spread no cheer, at all.
- Mary DeAngelis: Carmela, be quiet!
- Carmela Soprano: This is MY house.
- Mary DeAngelis: I'm leaving!
- Hugh DeAngelis: [shoots to his feet] Let her talk, goddamn it!
- Mary DeAngelis: Sit down, Hugh!
- Hugh DeAngelis: No, I'll speak if I want, goddamn it! Who are you? Minister of propaganda? We suffered for years under the yoke of that woman! Years! She estranged us from our own daughter. Ruined I don't know how many goddamn Christmases, I don't even want to begin to count.
- Janice Soprano: Hugh...
- Hugh DeAngelis: No, don't hand me that! Bullshit! You wanted it, and you got it.
- Tom Giglione: [quietly] Hear, hear.
- Carmela Soprano: From beyond the grave, even! This is a woman who didn't want a funeral. You all, her children,
- [pointing at Tony, Janice and Barbara]
- Carmela Soprano: you ignored her wishes! Only after she's dead, by the way. She didn't want a funeral! She didn't want a remembrance of any kind. Why? She didn't think anybody would come! She wouldn't write down her memories for her grandchildren because she figured nobody loved her enough to read them! She knew there was a problem.
- [an uncomfortable silence follows]
- Artie Bucco: Um, there's uh, desserts... in the dining room, if anybody wants some.
- [quickly exits]
- Charmaine Bucco: Yes, um... and they're all from Vesuvio, our new pastry chef, Bobby Vasquez. Thanks.
- Tony Soprano: What's your background Noel?
- Noah Tannenbaum: [Correcting him] It's Noah, I'm from Los Angeles, West LA
- Tony Soprano: No what I mean is...
- Noah Tannenbaum: My family's in the "business", I mean show business. I don't know why they call it "the business"
- Tony Soprano: Those old Tarzan movies?
- Noah Tannenbaum: No my dad's an entertainment lawyer
- Tony Soprano: No, what I mean is we're Italian
- Noah Tannenbaum: Oh, my dad is Jewish and my mother's family is African American
- Tony Soprano: Tanenbaum. Right. But on your application to Columbia, you didn't check Jewish did you?
- Noah Tannenbaum: No. They can't ask about religious affiliation.
- Tony Soprano: Oh, right, what'd you check?
- Noah Tannenbaum: African American.
- Tony Soprano: So we do understand each other? You're a ditsoon.
- Noah Tannenbaum: [Caught off guard by his insult] Excuse me?
- Tony Soprano: [Continuing to insult him using slang racial terminology for African Americans] Charcoal Briquette, a mulligan.
- Noah Tannenbaum: What's your problem?
- Tony Soprano: [Referring to Meadow] I think you know what my problem is: you see, your little friend up there. She didn't do you any favors bringing you into this house. Now I don't know what the fuck she was thinking, we'll get to that later. See, I got business associates who are black and they don't want my son with their daughters and I don't want their sons with mine.
- Noah Tannenbaum: Fuck you!
- Tony Soprano: See, that's the kind of thing I'm hoping to avoid. So when my little girl comes down the stairs, you're going to say how nice it was to meet me, then you're going to go drop her off at school and then you're going to say goodbye.
- Hugh DeAngelis: [asking Carmela, upon arriving to the Soprano home with Mary to pay their respects to the passing of Tony's mother] how's Tony taking it?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [yelling from the other room, over the phone with his sister Barbara, referring to his sister Janice not attending the funeral for their mother] oh, what the fuck? God damn fuckin bitch!
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [repeated line to several people, referring to his mother's unexpected passing] What're you gonna do?
- Meadow Soprano: [repeated line to several people, referring to her grandmother's unexpected passing, after someone expresses their condolences] At least she didn't suffer.
- Tony Soprano: [Referring to his mother's passing, disappointed she didn't comment on her passing] "No I'm sorry? My condolences," nothing?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [Remains silent]
- Tony Soprano: Actually that's good, it's a relief your not saying anything if you want to know the truth
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [Remains silent]
- Tony Soprano: You know everybody else, bullshit
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [Remains silent]
- Tony Soprano: Alright, here's the thing: I'm glad she's dead, not just glad, I wished she died. I had this court case coming up, she might've testified against me so when I heard she was dead, relief flooded into my veins
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: How do you feel about the fact your own mother would've testified against you?
- Tony Soprano: [Annoyed, regretting what he said about wishing his mother dead] oh come on, will you listen to yourself? I mean is that right? Wishing her dead? Is that being a good son?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: A good son?
- Tony Soprano: Yeah a good son, I mean bad sons and...
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Bad sons what?
- Tony Soprano: They should fuckin die, that's a fuckin miserable, disgusting thing to be a bad son, I mean your kid better be a good son right?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [Remains silent]
- Tony Soprano: You know what? Your right, why the fuck should I be a good son to that fuckin demented old bat? That fuckin selfish miserable cunt?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [Remains silent]
- Tony Soprano: She ruined my father's life oh yeah
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: But he wasn't "her son" what did she do to you?
- Tony Soprano: Come on that's a matter of public record in here, we both know...
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [Referring to the fact that he lobes his mother] You don't like to say it do you?
- Tony Soprano: Who knows if she even knew what she was doing
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You're letting her off
- Tony Soprano: [Referring to Tony's mother planning to have him killed] my uncle denies it, you know, that she took part
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Your uncle loves you
- Tony Soprano: I never said he didn't
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Grown children often secretly wish for an aging parent to die and it's not necessary for the parent to be a witness for the prosecution. It's a taboo thought, but common particularly if the parent has lost all capacity for the joy of being alive
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: [Acknowledging she's right] so, we're probably done here right? she's dead
- Tony Soprano: [Walks into the kitchen from the back yard and sees his family waiting for him] what?
- Carmela Soprano: Your mother died
- Tony Soprano: You're kidding
- Tony Soprano: [Surprised] I mean... Jesus Christ
- Carmela Soprano: Svetlana just called. She said after dinner your mother went upstairs to get ready for bed, when Svetlana came up she thought your mother was asleep
- Carmela Soprano: [after Tony sits down at the kitchen table, she walks over and holds his hand] Svetlana's waiting for us over there
- Tony Soprano: She's dead
- Meadow Soprano: I'm sorry dad, that your mom died
- A.J. Soprano: Me too
- Tony Soprano: Hey, your grandmother loved you, both of you very much
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Meeting privately in Tony's back yard] alright who gave the order to torch one of Albert's trucks?
- Albert Barese: [to Ralphie with disdain] "One of the trucks"
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to Albert] be quiet
- Ralph Cifaretto: [to Tony, referring to Albert] talk to him, he lit two of my dumpsters
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to Ralphie and Albert] what's the matter with you? Both of you? With the newspapers every fuckin week with this shit
- Ralph Cifaretto: My "crew" is in line for the Raritan Township contract ok? This guy other there keeps whispering Albert
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [Surprised, hold his left hand to his left ear] your what? What did you say? Who's crew?
- Ralph Cifaretto: You're the boss, you get to put anyone you want over the crew
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: You're a captain when I say your a captain
- Ralph Cifaretto: And I'm going to turn up my hearing aids so I don't miss it
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Oh, you're going to get cute with me? With my mother lying dead?
- Ralph Cifaretto: Raritan Township's recycling manager Joe Zachary says he knows who's in line for that contract but he keeps playing footsie with Albert. Next minute his threatening to go to the EPA to bust us all
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: He said that?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [to Ralphie and Albert after they both nod] alright fix it. No more fires
- Junior Soprano: Ralphie Cifaretto got word to me
- Tony Soprano: So, what does he want?
- Junior Soprano: He wants a bump up to captain. The kid's been a top fuckin earner ever since that rat bastard went into the program. You can't deny it. Ralphie whipped Richie's crew into shape over there
- Tony Soprano: [Referring to Richie Aprile] And three months ago by you the rat bastard was a second fuckin coming why do you do this to me?
- Junior Soprano: Because I'm the boss of this family you forget
- Tony Soprano: I forget nothing, don't make me say things to you we'll both regret
- Junior Soprano: Go ahead I'm fuckin fed up
- Tony Soprano: I'm on the street, that's the arrangement: stay home, collect your coupons, and be a happy man
- Junior Soprano: Things are good I'll grant you that but this economy is so robust you get credit for shit you had nothing to do with. Fuckin chinks and housewives are betting foot ball
- Tony Soprano: You better be finished
- Meadow Soprano: [after she notices he throws a pen across his room] What's your beef?
- A.J. Soprano: [frustrated with his homework assignment] Asshole Robert Frost, how am I supposed to know what this means?
- Meadow Soprano: [after turning off his music, walks towards his desk then reading from his book] Stopping by the woods on an evening, oh my God, I'm so glad I'm not in high school anymore
- A.J. Soprano: You read this?
- Meadow Soprano: Sure
- A.J. Soprano: What does it mean? I have turn in a close read by tomorrow
- Meadow Soprano: What does it mean?
- Meadow Soprano: [reading from his book] The woods are lovely, dark and deep but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep
- Meadow Soprano: ok, look, where is he?
- A.J. Soprano: His in a field on a horse
- Meadow Soprano: His not on a horse, the horse has bells
- A.J. Soprano: so?
- Meadow Soprano: What kind of horse has bells?
- A.J. Soprano: I don't know, just give me the fuckin answer so I can write this
- Meadow Soprano: A horse that's pulling a sleigh
- A.J. Soprano: So, this is a Thanksgiving poem? Like Over the river through the woods to grandma's house we go?
- Meadow Soprano: No, it's not a Thanksgiving poem, what's covering the field?
- A.J. Soprano: Snow
- Meadow Soprano: [implying he guessed correctly] Yay! And what does snow symbolize?
- A.J. Soprano: Christmas?
- Meadow Soprano: [rolls her eyes] Hello? Cold? Endless white? Endless nothing?
- A.J. Soprano: [raises his voice] I don't know
- Meadow Soprano: Death
- A.J. Soprano: I thought black was death?
- Meadow Soprano: [reads from his book] He has miles to go before he sleeps
- A.J. Soprano: So, he must be far away from his house?
- Meadow Soprano: The sleep of death: the big sleep, his talking about his own death which has yet to come but will come
- A.J. Soprano: [confused] That's fucked up
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [while going through their mother's belongings in the basement after she passed away] You know, maybe your right? My shrink says not all women are cut out to be mothers
- Janice Soprano: Is that a slam at me?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [referring to Janice's son] No, look, if my father was in the freakin Cirque du Soleil, I would've turned out like Harpo... Hal
- Janice Soprano: You know this is fuckin weird
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What?
- Janice Soprano: None of my child's schoolwork or artwork or anything for that matter is here anymore and nor is Barb's
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Get the fuck outta here
- Janice Soprano: well, take a look. She only saved yours
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [while taking the items out of a box] What're you talking about? Here's Barbara's communion certificate, here's her baby shoe
- Janice Soprano: Yeah, that's it: nothing of mine
- Christopher Moltisanti: [his remembrance of Livia Soprano while high on marijuana and cocaine] they say there's no two people on earth exactly the same: no two faces, no two sets of fingerprints but do they know that for sure? Because they would have to get everybody together in one huge space and obviously that's not possible, even with computers. Not only that, they would have to get all the people that ever lived, not just the ones now. So, they got no proof: they got nothing. Mrs. Soprano may have passed but who's to say there isn't another Mrs. Soprano just like her? Or will be? Maybe not with the same fears and paranoia but... the "same"
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: [repeated line to several people after they express their condolences, referring to his mother's unexpected passing] What're you gonna do?
- Barbara Giglione: [over the phone after Tony tells her their mother passed away] I just can't believe this
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: What're you gonna do?
- Barbara Giglione: I'll call Janice
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I'll meet you at Cozzarelli's around noon, I already called her
- Barbara Giglione: Mommy didn't want any kind of service, no remembrance at all?
- Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: So, we'll pick out a... simple urn or whatever
- Barbara Giglione: [before hanging up] I'll see you there