South Park (TV Series)

The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers (2002)

Mona Marshall: Linda Stotch, Sheila Broflovski

Quotes 

• Randy Marsh : All right, now, listen, kids. There's some things that we need to put into context for you. You see, a man puts his penis into a woman's vagina for both love and pleasure. But sometimes the woman lays on top of the man facing the other way so that they can put each other's genitals in their mouths. This is called 69ing, and it's normal.

  Sharon Marsh : You see, boys, a woman is sensitive in her vagina and it feels good to have a man's penis inside of it.

  Sheila Broflovski : That's right. But sometimes a woman chooses to use other things. Telephones, staplers, magazines. It's because the nerve endings in the vagina are so sensitive, it's like a fun tickle.

  Gerald Broflovski : Now, on the double penetration, boys, you see, sometimes when a woman has sex with more than one man, each man makes love to a different orifice.

  Randy Marsh : That's right. It's something adults can do with really good friends in a comfortable setting.

  Sheila Broflovski : It's also important that you understand why some people choose to urinate on each other.

  Randy Marsh : Going number one or number two on your lover is something people might do, but you must make sure your partner is OK with it before you start doing it.

  Gerald Broflovski : OK, boys, do you have any questions?

  Stan Marsh : [astonished]  Wow.

• Gerald Broflovski : [Talking about the porno]  OK, OK. How bad was it?

  Randy Marsh : It was... Backdoor Sluts 9.

  Men : BACKDOOR SLUTS 9?

  Stephen Stotch : Backdoor Sluts 9 makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2!

  Gerald Broflovski : It is the single most vile, most twisted piece of porn ever made.

  Sheila Broflovski : [furiously]  HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW?

  Gerald Broflovski : I, uh, I read about it in People.