Spaced (TV Series)

Art (1999)

Simon Pegg: Tim Bisley

Photos 

Quotes 

• Daisy : [answering phone]  Hello? Oh, hi, Mike. Yeah, he's here, I'll just get him.

  [to Tim] 

  Daisy : It's your boyfriend.

  Tim : He's not my boyfriend.

  [picks up phone] 

  Tim : Hi babe.

  Mike : Hello Timmy!

  Tim : Where are you?

  Mike : Err, Sheffield.

  Tim : What are you doing in Sheffield?

  Mike : Fell asleep on the tube.

  Tim : The tube doesn't go to Sheffield, Mike.

  Mike : Yeah, I know. I, uh, must have changed at King's Cross.

• Tim : Oh, there's a letter here for you. Came yesterday.

  Brian : [picking up the letter]  It's open.

  Tim : Yeah, I opened it by accident because, erm, we've both got I's in our names.

  [Tim shifts his eyes in guilt] 

• Tim : [answering the phone]  Hello? Brian? No, no, he's the weirdo downstairs. Oh, sorry! Sorry, Brian. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come up. OK, bye.

  [puts the phone down] 

  Tim : Brian's coming up.

  Daisy : Why did he phone?

  Tim : I don't know, why did he paint his arse blue last week?

  Daisy : You don't like him, do you?

  Tim : I do like him, I just think he's a bit pretentious.

  [Brian enters, wearing an incredibly gaudy outfit] 

  Brian : How do I look?

  Tim : A bit pretentious?

• [Brian has received a letter that simply says "Come"] 

  Brian : It's from Vulva.

  Tim : Oh yeah? Is that another woman's magazine?

  Brian : Vulva, it's an old friend. She's having a show tonight.

  Tim : You've got a friend called Vulva? Who's called Vulva?

  Brian : Her real name's Ian.

  Tim : What do you mean *her* real name's Ian?

  Brian : She's non-gender-specific.

  Tim : Oh what, you mean he's a tranny?

  Brian : [smiles]  More than that.

  Tim : What, a big fat tranny?

• Tim : Daisy. Daisy, Daisy, Daisy. It's gonna be okay. Now have a big toke on this South African drugs-reefer-style spliff doobie.

  Daisy : I dunno. It might make me paranoid.

• Brian : Do you think I should lose the waistcoat?

  Tim : I think you should burn it. 'Cause, you know, if you lose it, you might find it again.

• Daisy : You're up early.

  Tim : Oh, I haven't been to bed. Me and Mike met up with these two Scottish guys in the pub and they gave us all this cheap speed.

  Daisy : Oh Tim, that's so tacky.

  Tim : Yeah I know, but y'know they were so nice. I think if we'd said no they'd have got offended and beaten us to death with a pool cue.

• Daisy : Right, I'm gonna go to the shops. Do you want anything?

  Tim : Porn!

  Daisy : Tim, I'm not going to buy you porn, OK? You can get it from railway sidings like everybody else.

  Tim : I can't, I'm an adult. I'm supposed to leave it there.

• Daisy : So who was this girl then?

  Tim : Her name was Cassandra, she was a psychic, she gave me her phone number...

  [hands Daisy a piece of paper] 

  Daisy : That's our phone number.

  Tim : Man, she's good.

• [Brian has received an invitation to Vulva's show and starts reminiscing about their old partnership] 

  Tim : [sighs]  So are you gonna go?

  Brian : I don't know, I haven't seen her for ages.

  Tim : No, I meant are you gonna go, now?

• Daisy : I'm not sure if I should go casual or strappy. Something a bit glam. Reliable and frumpy or stupid and glamourous?

  Tim : Why don't you go something in between?

  Daisy : Frumpy and stupid.

  Tim : Save you getting ready.

• Brian : [Tim is playing Resident Evil 2 on his Playstation]  What are you playing?

  Tim : It's a subtle blend of lateral thinking and extreme violence.

  Brian : What, like "It's a Knockout"?

• Tim : Hey deadhead. Take a bite of peach.

• Tim : You know when you said it went well? Well, when you said well, did you mean shite?

• Daisy : Is there any post?

  Tim : Uh, I did hear droppage.

• Daisy : Tim, I'm serious! This is important, I've got to get the right...

  Tim : [irritated]  Look!