- Daisy: [answering phone] Hello? Oh, hi, Mike. Yeah, he's here, I'll just get him.
- [to Tim]
- Daisy: It's your boyfriend.
- Tim: He's not my boyfriend.
- [picks up phone]
- Tim: Hi babe.
- Mike: Hello Timmy!
- Tim: Where are you?
- Mike: Err, Sheffield.
- Tim: What are you doing in Sheffield?
- Mike: Fell asleep on the tube.
- Tim: The tube doesn't go to Sheffield, Mike.
- Mike: Yeah, I know. I, uh, must have changed at King's Cross.
- Tim: [answering the phone] Hello? Brian? No, no, he's the weirdo downstairs. Oh, sorry! Sorry, Brian. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come up. OK, bye.
- [puts the phone down]
- Tim: Brian's coming up.
- Daisy: Why did he phone?
- Tim: I don't know, why did he paint his arse blue last week?
- Daisy: You don't like him, do you?
- Tim: I do like him, I just think he's a bit pretentious.
- [Brian enters, wearing an incredibly gaudy outfit]
- Brian: How do I look?
- Tim: A bit pretentious?
- [Brian has received a letter that simply says "Come"]
- Brian: It's from Vulva.
- Tim: Oh yeah? Is that another woman's magazine?
- Brian: Vulva, it's an old friend. She's having a show tonight.
- Tim: You've got a friend called Vulva? Who's called Vulva?
- Brian: Her real name's Ian.
- Tim: What do you mean *her* real name's Ian?
- Brian: She's non-gender-specific.
- Tim: Oh what, you mean he's a tranny?
- Brian: [smiles] More than that.
- Tim: What, a big fat tranny?
- Daisy: [doing her own performance art show, with weird make-up and bunny ears] Rabbit! Rabbit! Rabbit! Rabbit! Rabbit! Rabbit! Rabbit! Rabbit! Rabbit!
- Daisy: You're up early.
- Tim: Oh, I haven't been to bed. Me and Mike met up with these two Scottish guys in the pub and they gave us all this cheap speed.
- Daisy: Oh Tim, that's so tacky.
- Tim: Yeah I know, but y'know they were so nice. I think if we'd said no they'd have got offended and beaten us to death with a pool cue.
- Daisy: I thought you were brilliant.
- Hoover: And who are you, then?
- Daisy: I'm Daisy Steiner, I'm... writer, sort of journalist.
- Hoover: Do you know any famous or important people?
- Daisy: Well, my mum's cousin went to school with Enya. She was in the year above, but they had same percussion teacher, so...
- Hoover: I hate your mum, and I hate you.
- Daisy: That's brilliant. Brilliant!