Photos
Quotes
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Captain Kirk : Well, opinions?
Chekov : I think we're in a lot of trouble.
Captain Kirk : That's a great help, Mr. Chekov. Bones?
McCoy : I think Chekov's right, we are in a lot of trouble.
Captain Kirk : Spock, and if you say we're in a lot of trouble...
Spock : We are.
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[trying to confuse an android]
Spock : Logic is a little tweeting bird chirping in a meadow. Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers which smell *bad*. Are you sure your circuits are registering correctly? Your ears are green.
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Harcourt Fenton Mudd : [explaining his latest trouble] I, uh... sold the Denebians all the rights to a Vulcan fuel synthesizer.
Capt. Kirk : And the Denebians contacted the Vulcans.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd : How'd you know?
Capt. Kirk : That's what I would have done.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd : Oh. It's a typical police mentality. They've got no sense of humour; they arrested me!
McCoy : Oh, I find that shocking.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd : Worse than that! Do you know what the penalty for fraud is on Deneb 5?
Spock : Guilty party has his choice. Death by electrocution, death by gas, death by phaser, death by hanging...
Harcourt Fenton Mudd : The key word in your entire peroration, Mr. Spock, was... d-d-d-DEATH. Barbarians! Well, of course I... left.
Capt. Kirk : [to the others] He broke jail.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd : I, ah, borrowed transportation...
Capt. Kirk : He stole a spaceship.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd : ...the patrol reacted in a hostile manner...
Capt. Kirk : They fired at him!
Harcourt Fenton Mudd : They've got no respect for private property - they damaged the bloody spaceship! Well, I... I got away, but I couldn't navigate, so I wandered out through unmapped space. And here I found... Mudd!
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McCoy : [talking about Norman] There's something wrong about a man who never smiles, and whose conversation never varies from the routine of the job, and who won't talk about his background.
Spock : I see.
McCoy : Spock... I mean, that it's, uh... it's odd for a non-Vulcan. Um... the ears make all the difference.
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Harcourt Fenton Mudd : Now listen, Spock, you may be a wonderful science officer but, believe me, you couldn't sell fake patents to your mother!
Spock : I fail to understand why I should care to induce my mother to purchase falsified patents.
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McCoy : Well, you must be very unhappy, Mr. Spock.
Spock : That is a human emotion, Doctor, with which I am totally unfamiliar. How could I be "unhappy?"
McCoy : Well, we found a whole world of minds that work just like yours - logical, unemotional, completely pragmatic - and we poor, irrational humans whipped them in a fair fight. Now you'll find yourself back among us illogical humans again.
Spock : Which I find eminently satisfactory, Doctor, for *nowhere* am I so *desperately* needed as among a shipload of illogical humans.
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Spock : You went to substantial risk and effort to bring a starship here. Logically, you must have a compelling motive.
Harcourt Fenton Mudd : [Smile fades] Spock, you're going to love it here. They all talk just the way you do.
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Alice #251 through 500 : Do you require something, lord?
Capt. Kirk : No. Yes! My ship.
Alice #251 through 500 : I am not programmed...
Alice #251 through 500 , Capt. Kirk : [together] ... to respond in that area.
Capt. Kirk : Yes, I know.
Alice #251 through 500 : Is there anything *any* of you require to please you?
Capt. Kirk : Alice, give us back our ship to please us. Return us to our ship because we desire it.
Alice #251 through 500 : We are programmed to serve. We shall serve you to your best interests to make you happy.
Capt. Kirk : But we're unhappy here.
Alice #251 through 500 : Please explain "unhappy."
Spock : Unhappiness is the state which occurs in the human when wants and desires are not fulfilled.
Alice #251 through 500 : Which wants and desires of yours are not fulfilled?
Capt. Kirk : We want the Enterprise.
Alice #251 through 500 : [her badge number starts to flash] The Enterprise is not a want or a desire. It is a mechanical device.
Capt. Kirk : No, it's a beautiful lady and we love her!
Alice #251 through 500 : [badge light remains on] Illogical, illogical. All units relate. All units. Norman, coordinate.
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McCoy : All right, it's worked so far, but we're not out yet.
Captain Kirk : [to Spock as he enters] Well?
Spock : Success, Captain. We've been pruning the leaves and branches of the tree, now it is time to get to work on the root.
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Norman : We cannot allow any race as greedy and corruptible as yours to have free run of the galaxy.
Spock : I'm curious, Norman. Just how do you intend to stop them?
Norman : We shall serve them. Their kind will be eager to accept our service. Soon they will become completely dependent upon us.
Alice #1 through 250 : Their aggressive and acquisitive instincts will be under our control.
Norman : We shall take care of them.
Spock : Eminently practical.
Captain Kirk : The whole galaxy controlled by your kind?
Norman : Yes, Captain. And we shall serve them and you will be happy, and controlled.
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Capt. Kirk : Mr. Spock, we seem to be taking an unscheduled ride.
Spock : Interesting.
