Star Trek (TV Series)

I, Mudd (1967)

DeForest Kelley: Dr. McCoy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Captain Kirk : Well, opinions?

  Chekov : I think we're in a lot of trouble.

  Captain Kirk : That's a great help, Mr. Chekov. Bones?

  McCoy : I think Chekov's right, we are in a lot of trouble.

  Captain Kirk : Spock, and if you say we're in a lot of trouble...

  Spock : We are.

• Harcourt Fenton Mudd : [explaining his latest trouble]  I, uh... sold the Denebians all the rights to a Vulcan fuel synthesizer.

  Capt. Kirk : And the Denebians contacted the Vulcans.

  Harcourt Fenton Mudd : How'd you know?

  Capt. Kirk : That's what I would have done.

  Harcourt Fenton Mudd : Oh. It's a typical police mentality. They've got no sense of humour; they arrested me!

  McCoy : Oh, I find that shocking.

  Harcourt Fenton Mudd : Worse than that! Do you know what the penalty for fraud is on Deneb 5?

  Spock : Guilty party has his choice. Death by electrocution, death by gas, death by phaser, death by hanging...

  Harcourt Fenton Mudd : The key word in your entire peroration, Mr. Spock, was... d-d-d-DEATH. Barbarians! Well, of course I... left.

  Capt. Kirk : [to the others]  He broke jail.

  Harcourt Fenton Mudd : I, ah, borrowed transportation...

  Capt. Kirk : He stole a spaceship.

  Harcourt Fenton Mudd : ...the patrol reacted in a hostile manner...

  Capt. Kirk : They fired at him!

  Harcourt Fenton Mudd : They've got no respect for private property - they damaged the bloody spaceship! Well, I... I got away, but I couldn't navigate, so I wandered out through unmapped space. And here I found... Mudd!

• McCoy : [talking about Norman]  There's something wrong about a man who never smiles, and whose conversation never varies from the routine of the job, and who won't talk about his background.

  Spock : I see.

  McCoy : Spock... I mean, that it's, uh... it's odd for a non-Vulcan. Um... the ears make all the difference.

• McCoy : Well, you must be very unhappy, Mr. Spock.

  Spock : That is a human emotion, Doctor, with which I am totally unfamiliar. How could I be "unhappy?"

  McCoy : Well, we found a whole world of minds that work just like yours - logical, unemotional, completely pragmatic - and we poor, irrational humans whipped them in a fair fight. Now you'll find yourself back among us illogical humans again.

  Spock : Which I find eminently satisfactory, Doctor, for *nowhere* am I so *desperately* needed as among a shipload of illogical humans.

• McCoy : [mechanically]  You offer us only well-being.

  Scott : [mechanically]  Food and drink and happiness mean nothing to us.

  McCoy : We must be about our job.

  Scott : Suffering in torment and pain, laboring without end.

  McCoy : Dying and crying and lamenting over our burdens.

  McCoy , Scott : [together]  Only this way can we... be... happy.

  [They curtsey sweetly] 

• McCoy : Besides, he has avoided two appointments that I've made for his physical exam without reason.

  Spock : It's not at all surprising, Doctor. He's probably terrified of your beads and rattles.

• Spock : Whatever method we use to stop them, we must make haste. They have only to install some cybernetic devices aboard the Enterprise and they'll be able to leave orbit.

  McCoy : How do you know so much?

  Spock : I asked them.

  McCoy : Oh.

• McCoy : All right, it's worked so far, but we're not out yet.

  Captain Kirk : [to Spock as he enters]  Well?

  Spock : Success, Captain. We've been pruning the leaves and branches of the tree, now it is time to get to work on the root.

• Dr. McCoy : [referring to large darkened pane on wall]  Harry, what's this?

  Harry Mudd : [pressing button by pane to reveal Stella android]  Ah. That, gentlemen, is a shrine to the memory of my beloved Stella.

  Capt. Kirk : Who?

  Harry Mudd : Stella, my wife.

  Dr. McCoy : Dead?

  Harry Mudd : Oh, no, no, no, merely deserted. You see, gentlemen, behind every great man there is a woman, urging him on. And so it was with my Stella. She urged me on into outer space. Not that she meant to.

  [with increasing irritation] 

  Harry Mudd : But with her continual, eternal, confounded nagging--well, I think of her constantly, and every time I do, I go further out into space.

  Dr. McCoy : That's very interesting. You leave your wife and then bring her along.

  Harry Mudd : I had the androids construct a perfect replica of Stella, so that I could gaze upon her, and rejoice in her absence. Gentlemen, attend. Stella, dear...

  Stella Mudd : [switching on, angrily]  Mm, Harcourt? Harcourt Fenton Mudd, what have you been up to? Nothing good, I'm sure. Well let me tell you, you lazy, good-for-nothing...

  Harry Mudd : Shut up!

  Stella Mudd : [switching off]  Nothing... thing... thing.

  Harry Mudd : Marvelous, isn't it? I finally have the last word with her...

  [to Kirk] 

  Harry Mudd : and with you.