Star Trek (TV Series)

The Trouble with Tribbles (1967)

Walter Koenig: Chekov

Photos 

Quotes 

• Capt. Kirk : How close will we come to the nearest Klingon outpost if we continue on our present course?

  Chekov : Ah, one parsec, sir. Close enough to smell them.

  [grins broadly] 

  Spock : That is illogical, Ensign. Odors cannot travel through the vacuum of space.

  Chekov : I was making a little joke, sir.

  Spock : Extremely little, Ensign.

• Korax : [the tribbles squeal as he pours some of his drink into Cyrano Jones' glass]  The Earthers like those fuzzy things. Don't they?

  Cyrano Jones : [accepts drink, laughs nervously]  Oh, yes.

  Korax : Well, frankly, I never liked Earthers. They remind me of Regulan bloodworms.

  [the Klingons laugh] 

  Chekov : That cossack!

  Scott : Easy, lad. You ought to be more forgiving.

  Korax : Though... I just remembered. There is one Earth man who doesn't remind me of a Regulan bloodworm. That's Kirk. A Regulan bloodworm is soft, and shapeless. But Kirk isn't soft. Kirk may be a swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood. But he's not soft.

  Scott : [as Chekov gets up]  Take it easy, lad. Everybody is entitled to an opinion.

  [Chekov sits down] 

  Korax : That's right. And if I think that Kirk is a Denebian slime devil, well, that's my opinion, too.

  Scott : [as Chekov gets up again]  Don't do it, mister, and that's an order.

  Chekov : But you heard what he called the Captain!

  Scott : Forget it. It's not worth fighting for. We're big enough to take a few insults.

  [swaps Chekov's empty glass with another] 

  Scott : Now, drink your drink.

  [Chekov sits down and obliges] 

  Korax : Of course, I'd say that Captain Kirk deserves his ship. We like the Enterprise. We, we really do! That sagging, old rust bucket is designed like a garbage scow.

  [Scotty's ears perk up] 

  Korax : Half the quadrant knows it; that's why they're learning to speak Klingonese!

  Chekov : [outraged]  Mr. Scott!

  Scott : [to Korax]  Laddie... don't ya think you should... rephrase that?

  Korax : [in Scottish brogue]  You're right. I should.

  Korax : [normal voice]  I didn't mean to say that the Enterprise should be hauling garbage. I meant to say that it should be hauled away AS garbage!

  [Korax laughs. Scotty stands up, decks him, and a brawl ensues] 

• Scott : When are you gonna get off that milk diet, lad?

  Chekov : This is vodka.

  Scott : Where I come from, that's soda pop.

  Scott : [raising his glass]  Now this is a drink for a man.

  Chekov : Scotch?

  Scott : Aye.

  Chekov : It was invented by a little old lady from Leningrad.

• Capt. Kirk : [handing Chekov a container]  Mr. Chekov, what do you make of this?

  Chekov : Oh, quadrotriticale. I've read about this, but, er, I've never seen any before.

  Capt. Kirk : Does everybody know about this wheat but me?

  Chekov : Oh, not everyone, Captain. It's a Russian invention.