Star Trek: The Next Generation (TV Series)

Relics (1992)

LeVar Burton: Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge

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Quotes 

• Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Look, Mr. Scott, I'd love to explain everything to you, but the Captain wants this spectrographic analysis done by 1300 hours.

  [La Forge goes back to work; Scotty follows slowly] 

  Scotty : Do you mind a little advice? Starfleet captains are like children. They want everything right now and they want it their way. But the secret is to give them only what they need, not what they want.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Yeah, well, I told the Captain I'd have this analysis done in an hour.

  Scotty : How long will it really take?

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : An hour!

  Scotty : Oh, you didn't tell him how long it would *really* take, did ya?

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Well, of course I did.

  Scotty : Oh, laddie. You've got a lot to learn if you want people to think of you as a miracle worker.

• [La Forge and Scotty are trying to get the Jenolan up and running] 

  Scotty : [muttering]  Bunch of old, useless garbage!

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Huh?

  Scotty : I say it's old, Mr. La Forge. It can't handle the interface of your power converter. This equipment was designed for a different era. Now it's just a piece of junk.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Well, I don't know, it seems like some of it's held together pretty well.

  Scotty : Century out of date. It's just... obsolete!

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Well, you know, that's interesting, because I was just thinking that a lot of these systems haven't changed much in the last 75 years. This transporter is basically the same system we use on the Enterprise. Subspace radio and sensors still operate under the same basic principle; impulse engine design hasn't changed much in the last 200 years. If it wasn't for all the structural damage, this ship still might be in service today.

  Scotty : Maybe so. But when they can build ships like your Enterprise, who'd want to pilot an old bucket like this?

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : I don't know. If this ship were operational, I bet she'd run circles around the Enterprise at impulse speeds. Just because something's old doesn't mean you throw it away.

• Scotty : Take the bridge, Commander.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Oh, no. You're the senior officer here.

  Scotty : Oh, I may be captain by rank; but I never wanted to be anything else but an engineer.

• [Scotty and Geordi are working to restore the Jenolan's systems] 

  Scotty : Shunt the deuterium from the main cryo-pump to the auxiliary tank.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Er, the tank can't withstand that kind of pressure.

  Scotty : [laughs]  Where'd you... where'd you get that idea?

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : What do you mean, where did I get that idea? It's in the impulse engine specifications.

  Scotty : Regulation 42/15 - Pressure Variances on the IRC Tank Storage?

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Yeah.

  Scotty : Forget it. I wrote it. A good engineer is always a wee bit conservative, at least on paper. Just bypass the secondary cut-off valve and boost the flow. It'll work.

• Commander William T. Riker : Could someone survive inside a transporter buffer for 75 years?

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : I know a way to find out.

• Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : I need to get down to Engineering and begin that analysis.

  Scotty : Engineering? I thought you'd never ask!

• [last lines] 

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : You take care of yourself out there.

  Scotty : Aye.

• Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : So, you were saying a little earlier that you were on your way to the Norpin colony when you experienced warp engine failure?

  Scotty : Aye, that's right. See, we had an overload in one of the plasma transfer conduits and the captain brought us out of warp and we hit some gravimetric interference, and there it was, as big as life. Oh, is that a conduit interface?

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Yeah, it is. You were saying, "it's as big as life." You mean the Dyson sphere.

  Scotty : Aye, an actual Dyson sphere. Can you imagine the engineering skills needed to even design such a structure?

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Yeah, I know. It's pretty amazing. So what happened when you first approached it?

  Scotty : Well, we began our standard survey of the surface and we were just completing the initial orbital scan when our aft power coil suddenly exploded.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Hmm.

  Scotty : The ship got caught in the sphere's gravity well and down we went. Franklin and I were the only ones to survive the crash.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Can I ask you a question? What in the world made you think of using the transporter pattern buffer to survive?

  Scotty : Well, we... didn't have enough supplies to wait for the rescue, so we had to think of something.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Yeah, but locking it into a diagnostic cycle so that the pattern wouldn't degrade and then cross-connecting it with the phase inducers to provide a regenerative power source... that's absolutely brilliant.

  Scotty : Well, I think it was only 50% brilliant, 'cause Franklin deserves better.

• Scotty : Geordi, I have spent my whole life trying to figure out crazy ways of doing things. I'm telling ya, as one engineer to another - I can do this.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : [sighs]  All right. Let's do it.

  Scotty : [ecstatic]  Aye!

• Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Captain Scott, I've tried to be patient, I've tried to be polite, but I've got a job to do here, and quite frankly, you're in the way.

• Scotty : Well, thank you, lads. Oh, well, we got to get Franklin out of there.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Someone else's pattern is still in the buffer?

  Scotty : Aye, Matt Franklin. We went in together.

  [working on the console] 

  Scotty : Something's wrong. One of the inducers has failed. Boost the gain on the matter stream. Come on, Franklin. I know you're still in there.

  [sighing] 

  Scotty : It's no use. His pattern has degraded 53%. He's gone.

  Commander William T. Riker : I'm sorry.

  Scotty : So am I. He was a good lad.

• Scotty : You know, we used to have something called a dynamic mode converter. You wouldna have something like that on your Enterprise, would you?

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : I haven't seen anything like that in a long time, but I bet I might be able to come up with something similar.

• Scotty : I remember a time when the old Enterprise was spiraling toward PSI 2,000.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : [giving a PADD to a subordinate]  Yeah. Thank you.

  Scotty : And the captain wanted to try a cold start of the warp engines, and I told him that without a proper phase-lock, it would take at least 30 minutes. "You cannae change the laws of physics," I told him, but he wouldn't believe me, so I had to come up with a whole new engine start-up routine. Do you know that your dilithium crystals are going to fracture?

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : [closing the chamber]  We recomposite the crystals while they're still inside the articulation frame.

• Scotty : Laddie, you need to phase-lock the warp fields within 3% or they'll become unstable.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : What?

  Scotty : Well, look. Here's the warp...

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : [Scotty recoils as a console beeps; turning the alarm off]  We use a multiphase auto-containment field now. It's meant to operate above 3%.

  Scotty : Oh, well... that would make the difference.

• Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : You know, I think you're gonna enjoy the 24th century, Mr. Scott. We've made some pretty incredible advances these last 80 years.

  Scotty : Well, from what I've seen, you've got a fine ship, Mr. La Forge. A real beauty here. I must admit to being a bit overwhelmed.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Hmm. Wait 'til you see the holodeck.

• Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : [after losing contact with the Enterprise]  Can't find 'em anywhere in orbit.

  Scotty : Well, they could have crashed into the sphere like the Jenolen.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : No, we'd be picking up background radiation if they'd gone down.

  Scotty : There's another possibility. They could be inside the sphere.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Maybe. Whatever happened, we've got to find them. You know, if we could get these engines back online, we could track them with their impulse ion trail.

  Scotty : Are you daft? The main assembly's shot, the inducers have melted, the power couplings are wrecked. We'd need a week just to get started, but we don't have a week, so we've no sense in crying about it. Come on. We'll see what we can do with your power converter.

• Scotty : What have you done with the duotronic enhancers?

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : [taking a panel off to show him]  Well, those were replaced with isolinear chips about 40 years ago. It's a lot more efficient now.

  [Scotty moves to touch one] 

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : [stopping him]  Oh! That's an EPS power tap there.

• Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Captain Scott, this really isn't...

  Scotty : We're in engineering. Call me Scotty.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Scotty, this really isn't a good time for a tour. We're running a phase seven survey of the Dyson sphere.

  Scotty : I'm not here for a tour, laddie. I'm here to help.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : That's very kind, but I'm sure we can handle it.

  Scotty : I was a Starfleet engineer for 52 years, Mr. La Forge. I think I'm still useful.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : You're right. We'd be grateful for any help you could give us.

  Scotty : Good. Let's get to work.

• Captain Jean-Luc Picard : I understand that before the Jenolen crashed, it had conducted an extensive survey of the Dyson sphere. Have we been able to access any of those records?

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : We did try to download their memory core, but it was pretty heavily damaged in the crash. We actually haven't been able to get much out of it.

  Captain Jean-Luc Picard : Hmm. Perhaps Captain Scott could be of use in accessing that material.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : It's possible. He does know those systems better than any of us. I'll have Lt. Bartel beam down with him.

  Captain Jean-Luc Picard : Mr. La Forge... I would like you to accompany Captain Scott.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : Me, sir?

  Captain Jean-Luc Picard : Yes. Look, this is not an order. It's a request, and it's one that you must feel perfectly free to decline. You see, one of the most important things in a person's life is to feel useful. Now, Mr. Scott is a Starfleet officer, and I would like him to feel useful again.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : I'll go with him, sir.

  Captain Jean-Luc Picard : Thank you.

• Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : So this alien space baby, which was about the size of a 4-story building, really thought the Enterprise was its mother.

  Scotty : Aw, you're pullin' an old man's leg.

  Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge : No, really. It was suckling power directly form the ship's fusion reactors. So Dr. Brahms and I changed the power frequency from 21 centimeters to .02 centimeters.

  Scotty : So you soured the milk!