Star Trek: The Next Generation (TV Series)

The Naked Now (1987)

Wil Wheaton: Wesley Crusher

Quotes 

• Capt. Picard : You will now return control of this vessel to the bridge where it belongs, at once.

  Wesley Crusher : I'm sorry, sir. Why don't you just tell me what you want done and I'll do it.

  Capt. Picard : Because ship captains control their own vessels, young man!

  Wesley Crusher : But, sir, you don't do it yourself. You give the orders, but somebody else does it. What's wrong with giving me the orders to do it?

  Lieutenant Worf : Captain, getting unusual readings now from the dwarf star.

  Capt. Picard : Stand by on that for a moment.

• Capt. Picard : Wes, are you aware that you are behaving strangely? That a kind of... infection was brought over from the Tsiolkovsky which acts like intoxication?

  Wesley Crusher : Are you saying that's why I feel so hot and so strange?

  Capt. Picard : That's... that's a very adult bit of reasoning, Wesley.

  Wesley Crusher : So you mean I'm drunk! I feel strange but also good.

  Capt. Picard : Because... because you have lost the capacity for self-judgment. Now, alcohol does this, Wesley, but the contaminant we brought back from the Tsiolkovsky does it even more so.

  Wesley Crusher : What would you do if you got your ship back?

  Capt. Picard : Oh... it's very important I do, Wesley. Because I must immediately lock a tractor beam onto the Tsiolkovsky and tow it out of...

  Wesley Crusher : Tractor beams are my specialty, skipper! I'll contact you when that's done. Wesley out.

  [he ends the transmission] 

• Capt. Picard : Captain's log, stardate 41209.3. The strange contaminant that led to the deaths of the Tsiolkovsky crew is now aboard the Enterprise, and our engineering section has been commandeered by young Wesley Crusher.

  Wesley Crusher : And henceforth, a dessert course shall precede and follow every meal, including breakfast.

• Capt. Picard : [voice, over intercom]  Attention all decks, all divisions. Effective immediately, I have handed over control of this vessel to Acting Captain Wesley Crusher.

  Capt. Picard : [incensed]  "Acting Captain"?

  Wesley Crusher : [over intercom]  Thank you, Captain Picard, thank you. And with that order dawns a brave new day for the Enterprise.

• Doctor Beverly Crusher : There's something happening on this ship. Just to be safe, I'd like you to stay in our quarters until it's solved.

  Wesley Crusher : Sure, Mom, sure. Your wish is my command.

  Doctor Beverly Crusher : Now, Wes.

  Wesley Crusher : Okay, but you could be stunting my emotional growth. You realize that?

• Sarah MacDougal : I can't help you, Bridge. Someone here has yanked out all the control chips.

  Wesley Crusher : It was an adult who did it!