- Major Samantha Carter: Navigation?
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Check.
- Major Samantha Carter: Oxygen, pressure, temperature control?
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: All check.
- Major Samantha Carter: Inertial Dampeners?
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Cool!... and check.
- Major Samantha Carter: Engines?
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: All Check. Phasers?
- Major Samantha Carter: [smirking] Sorry sir.
- Major General George Hammond: Colonel Chekov feels that, as a symbol to our joint efforts, a Russian officer should be assigned to join SG-1.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Over my rotting corpse, sir.
- Major General George Hammond: Colonel?
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: I'm sorry. Did I say that out loud?
- Major General George Hammond: I said I would discuss it with you and that I was sure you would give it some careful thought.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: And that I will, General, but I'm still pretty sure I'll say: "Bite Me".
- Jack O'Neill: Hammond is insisting SG-1 needs a socio-political nerd to off-set our overwhelming coolness.
- Teal'c: Have you considered Jonas Quinn?
- Jack O'Neill: Now I know you've been practicing, but I still can't tell. Was that a joke?
- Major Samantha Carter: What about you, sir? Any ideas? I mean sometimes you have a way of seeing things at... at their simplest.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Thank you.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: [after a pause] I'm gonna go eat some cake.
- Anubis: I am Anubis!
- Major Samantha Carter: Looks like a hologram projection, sir.
- Anubis: Humans of the Tau'ri, your end of days finally approaches. There will be no mercy.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: [to Carter] Oh, come on, who talks like that?
- Major Samantha Carter: Sir, this is Asgard technology. He must have downloaded it from Thor
- Anubis: You will bow to my awesome power. There is nothing that can stop the destruction I bring upon you. Prepare to meet your doom.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: Oh, please!
- Jack O'Neill: Hey, how come you're not downstairs with the rest of the eggheads? Not that you're an egghead. Well, you are actually. But in a good way.
- Samantha Carter: I couldn't think down there. They all kept looking at me for the answer.
- Jack O'Neill: Well you do have a penchant for pulling brilliant ideas out of your butt - head. Out of your head, when we need them.
- Jonas Quinn: [walking with Carter] Still, I'm usually much better at reading people.
- Colonel Chekov: [walks up angrily] Major! Why was I not informed about the X-302?
- Jonas Quinn: For example, it might not be that obvious to everyone, but this man is actually very upset.
- Samantha Carter: Sir, the X-301 was a modified glider. Now, while many of the 302's systems were retroengineered from Goa'uld technology, it is entirely human built.
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: So was the Titanic.
- Voice over loudspeaker: [General Hammond is interrupted during a heated debate with the Russian Colonel] Unauthorized incoming traveler.
- Major Samantha Carter: What now?
- Major General George Hammond: I'll take anything over this!
- Colonel Jack O'Neill: [reviewing the files of new candidates] I can be as diplomatic and open-minded as anyone. Hammond is insisting SG-1 needs a socio-political nerd to offset our overwhelming coolness.