Tales from the Crypt (TV Series) Well Cooked Hams (1993) User Reviews

Enjoyable episode

[Woodyanders · 8/10 · 25 May 2012]

Inept struggling magician Miles Federman (well played to the slimy hilt by Billy Zane) murders rival master magician Kraygen (robustly essayed by Martin Sheen, who has a ball with his ripe Russian accent) in order to steal Kraygen's Box of Death trick and finally achieve the success he's been striving for. However, events from the past come back to haunt Federman on the night he premieres his new act. Director Elliot Silverstein, working from a compact script by Andrew Kevin Walker, relates the entertaining story at a snappy pace and offers a flavorsome evocation of the early 20th century period setting. Sheen really hams it up with lip-smacking brio in no less than three colorful roles; his gleeful scenery-chewing gives this episode an extra nifty buzz. The lovely Maryam D'Abo is likewise in fine snippy form as Federman's fed-up assistant Greta Krueutzel while fetching identical twin siblings Candi and Randi Borough are both sexy and funny as Greta's bimbo replacements. The ending delivers a pretty cool surprise twist as well as a decent smattering of blood. John R. Leonetti's crisp cinematography provides a pleasing polished look. Walter Werzowa's lively score hits the stirring spot. A worthwhile show.

Surprising episode

[bellino-angelo2014 · 8/10 · 2 July 2021]

Young and overly ambitious magician Miles Felderman (Billy Zane) fires his young assistant for a flopped show because he thought she was responsible for the failure. One day Miles is visited in the backstage by master magician Kraygen (Martin Sheen) that shows him his act with the Box of Death. Miles thinks that with that box he could make a better name for himself, so he murders Kraygen and steals the box. However, the night he premieres his act Miles is haunted by various memories of the past and all goes awry.

It was a good episode despite the viewer wouldn't root a lot for Miles as he looked a bit smarmy in his mannerisms (despite Zane pulled off the role well) but the final twist with Kraygen that shows to a dying Miles his three identities for which he is known nearly made me gasp. Not to be missed.

Average tale from the crypt.

[poolandrews · 5/10 · 21 March 2007]

Tales from the Crypt: Well Cooked Hams starts as hopeless magician Miles Federman (Billy Zane) is approached by the master magician Kraygen (Martin Sheen) to come & see his spectacular 'Box of Death' illusion. After seeing the act & sensing that he could improve his own failing act with it Miles convinces Kraygen to reveal the secret of the illusion & then murders him. Miles new show is a hit but things come back from the past to haunt him...

This Tales from the Crypt story was episode 8 from season 5, directed by Elliot Silverstein this isn't a particularly good episode. The script by Andrew Kevin Walker was based on a story from the 'Tales from the Crypt' comic book & is a pretty weak entry in a usually strong series, the whole build up feels quite bland & dour, there's none of the morbid black humour & the average just deserts twist at the end felt routine & didn't really do much for me. Everythng that makes for a good Tales from the Crypt episode seems absent in Well Cooked Hams, the premise, twist & character's are below the usual standards. Also I just don't understand the Well Cooked Hams title, did I miss something or am I just being stupid?

This one is a period piece presumably set during the start of the 20th century & it looks nice enough, there's no gore here either apart from a bit of blood. The acting is OK by a decent cast although Martin Sheen's accent sounds rather silly.

Well Cooked Hams isn't that great but at only 30 odd minutes it passes the time harmlessly enough.