- John Maguire: [carrying heavy box] EPS guy says you're done.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Yup, I'm once again a girl with stuff.
- John Maguire: [sighs after lugging heavy box] Congratulations.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [at laptop] God, I haven't checked my e-mail in so long.
- [laughs]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Oh my God! Look at that!
- John Maguire: [out of breath] What?
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Bailey is online!
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [Bailey left curt message] Ooh. Wait... wait. Ooh. Oh, I... I think he's gone. He's... he's mad at me.
- [rises from chair]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Can you blame him? Your girlfriend says that she's leaving for a long weekend and then ends up calling and saying she's moving 3000 miles away. It's just I... I don't know what to do, you know we can't seem to connect on the phone, and... e-mail isn't exactly romantic, it's like, everyday that goes by, he just gets angrier and angrier.
- [ponders]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: You know, I think I'm... I think I'm gonna go home... for the weekend, and talk to him. Make him okay with me being here.
- John Maguire: You know, you can't get on a plane everytime.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Yeah, I know. It's... it's not everytime...
- [softly:]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: It's this time...
- [sighs]
- Romy Sullivan: [she made the chauvinistic client looked every bit as bad as he was by zooming in up close on his face] Okay, look, I know it looks bad, but, really, guys like that deserve to die single.
- Woman Boss: [scoffs indignantly] You're fired!
- Romy Sullivan: Okay, wait...!
- Woman Boss: [pointing finger] And I'm calling your temp agency.
- Romy Sullivan: Oh, please don't do that! Wait, that's really not fair!
- [boss lady picks up phone, dials]
- Romy Sullivan: Okay, fine. Let me just say, I hated this job. Even though I was only here four days, I hated it! And I... and I hated you too! And what's more, your '30 Determining Steps to Finding True Love' is a load of crap! And $500 is a crime!
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: What did... I'm sorry, you stole mugs?
- Romy Sullivan: [proudly displaying trophy from office where she was fired] And... some legal pads, and these great felt-tip markers to keep by the phone.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Oh my God!
- Romy Sullivan: Okay, if you think that's unethical, you're really not gonna like what else I swiped.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: No, no, not that... This!
- [computer screen]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Fourteen hundred dollars for a coach ticket, there's no way I could swing that. You didn't, by any chance, steal an airplane ticket to San Francisco?
- Romy Sullivan: Nope, just this.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: A list of a hundred of the loneliest hearts in New York City?
- Romy Sullivan: [triumphantly] I pinched the Loser List!
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: The Loser List?
- Romy Sullivan: People whose videos no one ever responds to.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: And this is valuable to you, because of why exactly?
- Romy Sullivan: [conspiring tone] Valuable to us.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: No. See, I'm not looking for a boyfriend. I have one, remember?
- Romy Sullivan: [shaking her head] Girl, have you no vision? We throw a party, we throw a singles party, we invite the names on the list, people who will happily pay a hefty cover charge to indulge the fantasy they might actually meet their perfect mate. We invite some local color, some hotties from my acting class, some of J.B.'s friends, and voila! I've made enough to cover me till my next job, and you've made enough cash for a first-class ticket home.
- Romy Sullivan: [the two of them lugging heavy duvet] Okay, we take everything valuable, stick it in the closet, and bolt the door. You never know what kinda kleptos and creeps are gonna show up.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [dampened] Ooh, I'm so excited!
- Romy Sullivan: Keep telling yourself, it's twenty bucks a creep! Twenty bucks a creep!
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [going through the ante-doors] Ah, you're in.
- [a knock, and she rushes to go answer]
- Romy Sullivan: [left with the heavy job] Make it quick!
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [opens, ducks back] Ugh. Damn, it's Cecilia.
- [fake enthusiasm:]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Look, Romy, it's Cecilia.
- Cecilia Wiznarski: [entering] So, I saw you guys carrying in the cases full of liquor.
- Romy Sullivan: [still weighed down] Would somebody give me a hand here?
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [rushing to assist] Sorry.
- Cecilia Wiznarski: You know, it's funny, I don't remember anyone getting building approval to throw a party.
- Romy Sullivan: Oh, give us a break! Cecilia, you throw a party, like, every week! What do you care if we have one?
- Cecilia Wiznarski: [toying with a bottle of liquor] I care... When some jerk, that you invited, breaks a window or bursts in the stairwell and I get a call from the landlord.
- Romy Sullivan: [giving in] We're charging twenty bucks a head. What's your cut?
- Cecilia Wiznarski: A third.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Deal.
- Bailey Salinger: [his voice, as Sarah tearfully reads his letter] It feels really weird to write you a letter. But I have a lot on my mind, and maybe I am just not brave enough to say it on the phone. Your moving to New York was something I never expected, Sarah. And ever since you told me, I've been having kind of a rough time. I know things haven't been great with us for a while, but I don't know how we're supposed to make things better when you are so far away. I mean, it feels like every step we take now, is backwards. And you took this big one without even asking me.
- [reading this, Sarah is totally dismayed]
- Bailey Salinger: So... I think it's my turn. I guess what I'm saying is... I'm breaking up with you. I'm sorry. This just... isn't enough for me.
- [Sarah breaks down completely and cries]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [desperate, sitting on stairs, with cellphone] Bailey... are you there, hello? Bailey, if... if you're there, pick up...! Hello!
- guy coming down stairs: [bumping into her] Excuse me.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [continuing] I really need to talk to you! Hello!
- [realizing it is useless, she tearfully gives up]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [upset] Listen, I have to... I can't... be here right now...
- Romy Sullivan: Where have you been? I thought you were...
- [to guest, waving bottle]
- Romy Sullivan: Yo, Johnny Walker!
- [he takes it]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Uh... uh, something happened with Bailey.
- Romy Sullivan: Hey, you man the bar, I'll man the door!
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [pleading] Romy...!
- Romy Sullivan: Get your butt over there!
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [weakly] Right.
- Drunk: [loser, at bar] You know how she did it? Right before the dessert. Like she expected me to sit there. Eating my $8 nectarine cobbler while she dumped me. And... I had to pick up the check...
- [indicates drink]
- Drunk: Pour it.
- Cecilia Wiznarski: [to bar lady Sarah] Whoa, wait, wait, wait! That's the brand-name stuff!
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Yeah, so?
- Cecilia Wiznarski: So, you switch it off with generic. Just so you know, I am not losing my piece of the door because you can't control your overhead.
- Drunk: [continuing sad story] So, anyway, just a month ago, we were looking at getting a condo. How does this sound? I mean, three years, and suddenly, it's not working?
- [whiny tone:]
- Drunk: We're not working?
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: You mean, how does someone go from wanting to spend the rest of their life with you, to, in like... three weeks, deciding it's over? Because continuing the relationship requires some flexibility on their part...?
- [shakes head]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: I don't know. Maybe it means it wasn't love. You know, that it... that it... felt like love and it looked like love, but it was something else... Something
- [chokes]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: less.
- [turns away from the man, leaving him in dismayed state as well]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [leaving store] No, no, I don't wanna go back!
- [she is more than just a little bit tipsy]
- Jesse Bayron: Hey...
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: No, J.B., let's not go back, okay? Let's... oh, I wanna do something crazy, like... Whoo!
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Let's go to the top of the Empire State Building, and hock serious spit-balls, or... or...
- [swings from curb-side tree]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: oh,
- [running up steps]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: you know what we can do? Let's... let's sneak into a porno theater, yell "Fire!" and see who comes running out!
- [giddily falling into his arms from stairs]
- Jesse Bayron: And... and that would be fun because...?
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Because it is outrageous! I don't know, I wanna do something outrageous! You know what I wanna do? I wanna get my hair cut off and dyed blond, yeah!
- [whirling around in front of him, and jumping up against him]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: I mean, you could help me with that, right?
- Jesse Bayron: [not committing himself to this] I could, well, I could...
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [another notion hits her] Navel. I'm gonna get my navel pierced.
- Jesse Bayron: You're on your own for that.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: No...! Oh... Oh! I know what I can do.
- Jesse Bayron: What?
- [she runs off, giggling merrily]
- Spencer Halloway: [as they dance] You are really, really not the person I thought you were.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Oh, no?
- Spencer Halloway: Are you kidding? Working for my Mom, wearing that 1950s East Side matron suit, ah... I mean,
- [laughs]
- Spencer Halloway: it's a great tattoo.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [she giggles] Thank you.
- Spencer Halloway: ...and the way that you live... and the way that you look...
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: What do you mean?
- Spencer Halloway: It's great.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: I just wanna live a little, you know. There's nothing wrong with that, right?
- [he shakes his head]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: I think the tattoo gave me some confidence. I did it, I wasn't scared.
- Spencer Halloway: I like her.
- [he kisses her]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: I thought I could too.
- [another kiss]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Ah. Take me home.
- [softly:]
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Your place.
- Spencer Halloway: Okay.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: Okay.
- Spencer Halloway: [entering elevator] Come on... come on, why can't I?
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [they're about to kiss, but...] Uhm, Spencer...
- Spencer Halloway: Uh, what?
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: There's somebody...
- Spencer Halloway: [to attendant] Oh... hey, Stu...
- Elevator Guy: Mr Halloway...
- Spencer Halloway: Ah, listen, Stu, do you mind, uh, us taking your elevator... up, for once... alone?
- [the guy looks at them uncertainly]
- Spencer Halloway: I'll send it right back down.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: We promise.
- [Stu sighs, turns, they giggle as he leaves]
- Elevator Guy: Have a nice evening, Mr Halloway.
- Sarah Reeves Merrin: [as she kisses Spencer] You too, Stu.
- Bailey Salinger: [In a letter] It feels really weird to write you a letter. But, I have a lot on my mind and maybe i'm just not brave enough to say it on the phone. You are moving to New York with something I never expected, Sarah and ever since you told me I've been having kind of a rough time. I know things haven't been great with us for a whie. But, I don't know how we're suppose to make stuff better with you so far away. I mean it feels like every step we take now is backwards and you took this last big one without even asking me. So, I think it's my turn. I guess what I'm saying is... I'm breaking up with you. I'm sorry. This isn't enough for me.