- Brock Samson: Why haven't you tried the world domination thing? You scared of the big leagues?
- The Monarch: Please, how stupid do I look to you? World Domination. I'll leave that to the religious nuts and the Republicans, thank you.
- Dr. Venture: He's been pulling that "Boy Genius" crap for at least the 20 years that I've known him.
- Master Billy Quizboy: Well, nobody is that impressed with "Master Billy Quizboy ADULT Genius."
- Dr. Venture: Like a speech impediment and growth hormone deficiency qualifies you as a "BOY Genius."
- Hank Venture: I had to sleep in my clothes. Now I feel gross wearing them two days in a row!
- The Monarch: You're kidding me, right? That's the only outfit I've ever seen you in!
- Hank Venture: Well, that doesn't mean I never wash it.
- The Monarch: Fair enough. Number 27, get the kid a change of clothes!
- [looks at Brock]
- The Monarch: How about you? You ok?
- Brock Samson: I didn't sleep in my clothes.
- The Monarch: 27, burn his sheets!
- Brock Samson: You scream, I'll break your neck, you understand me?
- Dr. Girlfriend: You're going to take advantage of me, aren't you?... Well, be quick with it!
- Brock Samson: To be honest with you, I never really considered that.
- Dr. Girlfriend: Why not?
- Brock Samson: Just didn't.
- Dr. Girlfriend: [upset] Well, I'm not gonna beg.
- Henchman 24: Come on! They have one female servicing a large group of males. That implies a species that lays eggs.
- Henchman 21: Oh my God, you're crazy! They're so obviously mammals!
- Henchman 24: Please! She'd be in estrus 24/7 if she didn't lay eggs.
- Henchman 21: Smurfs don't lay eggs! I won't tell you this again! Papa Smurf has a fucking beard! They're mammals!
- The Monarch: I don't think I'm the one in danger here... considering the sad fact that right below you flows the MIGHTY AMAZON - teeming with the most GRUESOME fish to ever...
- Hank Venture: [interrupting] The piranha!
- The Monarch: No.
- Hank Venture: The shark?
- The Monarch: No!
- Hank Venture: ...The piranha!
- The Monarch: NO! And shut up! This isn't a quiz. Now where was I... right! The dreaded Candiru, a naughty little fish with a penchant for swimming up a man's urethra, to feed on the damaged tissue of the pitiful mass of flesh you once called your PENIS!
- Dr. Venture: Were you roughhousing with your brother?
- Dean Venture: [in pain] No!
- Dr. Venture: Oh dear god... You two haven't been... experimenting with inappropriate touching...
- Dean Venture: No! Gross!