The Venture Bros. (TV Series)

Return to Spider-Skull Island (2004)

Christopher McCulloch: Hank Venture, The Monarch, King Gorilla, Shame Face, Orderly, Diner Hick 1, Monarch Henchman 2

Quotes 

• [Monarch, in jail, is part of a "Scared Straight" program to convince at-risk teens from becoming supervillans] 

  The Monarch : You think you're hot shit in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup!

• The Monarch : [in a "Scared Straight"-style prison program]  What's your name?

  Dean Venture : Dean Ven...

  The Monarch : Your name is Bitch! And I own you. You're property! And when I'm tired of having sex with every hole God drilled in your slender frame... King Gorilla! You got a cigarette?

  [exchange is made] 

  The Monarch : There. I just sold you for a cigarette... and I don't smoke!

  [finally processes who he's talking to] 

  The Monarch : Holy shit! You're Dean fucking Venture! King, I gotta buy my bitch back. Here's your cigarette.

  King Gorilla : Fuck you, gimme a dollar.

• Dean Venture : I'll be sleeping in a room right next to Triana. And then she'll hear, like, thunder or something, and she'll run into my room all scared and stuff. And I'll be like, "Hush, my darling. It's just ionized air molecules expanding." And she'll be like, "Oh, hold me." And then I'll, like...

  Hank Venture : Dude! If we stay here, that means that we'll be Dr. Orpheus's kids. And that means Triana will be your sister. And that means you two will have extra-retard babies.