- Dr. Johnny Fever: [recounting his boyhood experience with a tornado] My mother and I were in a tornado once. We were in a mobile home, and I think God must really hate mobile homes, Andy, because tornadoes always attack them first... they get very mobile.
- José Jorge Rodriguez: Somewhere in Cincinnati, a bunch of chiropractors from Ecuador are being taken around by Akira Yamaguchi!
- Jennifer Marlowe: [as Mr. Carlson, Herb and Les carry Andy off the desk, he knocked unconscious from the shattered window] You are *not* supposed to *move* an *injured* person!
- [they stop, look at each other, and carry Andy back]
- Jennifer Marlowe: [to the translator about the Japanese guests speaking Japanese] What are they saying?
- José Jorge Rodriguez: I don't know. I was hired to translate for a group of a'Spanish-speaking visitors. In *my* opinion, *these* people are not Spanish.
- Arthur Carlson: [stepping over to the Japanese tour group] I learned a little Japanese when I was in the Marines. Ah, let me think about this. The accent may be off, but...
- [as Mr. Carlson addresses the group in Japanese, the tour group members put up their hands like they are being held up]
- Arthur Carlson: [about Les' complaint about reading the disaster plan on the air concerning the tornado] What problem?
- Les Nessman: It doesn't cover tornadoes. It's for what to do if the Russians attack.
- Arthur Carlson: The Russians?
- Les Nessman: Or Chinese.
- Arthur Carlson: Les, you take that emergency file, and you get on the air, and when you see the word "Russians", you substitute the word "tornadoes".
- Les Nessman: Oooh, that's a good idea.
- Les Nessman: [sitting down and speaking into the microphone] This is a special emergency report from WKRP in Cincinnati. Now here with that report is Les Nessman.
- Les Nessman: [to Mr. Carlson] Somebody else is supposed to read that.
- Arthur Carlson: Just get back on the air.
- Les Nessman: [back into the live microphone] The City of Cincinnati has just been attacked by the godless... tornadoes!