The West Wing (TV Series)

And It's Surely to Their Credit (2000)

Emily Procter: Ainsley Hayes

Quotes 

• Leo McGarry : Sam Seaborn had this innocent relationship with a girl - bam. Here comes the enemy. I'm a recovering alcoholic. Bam. Radio, TV, magazines, cameras in front of my house, people shouting at my daughter at the ballgame, editorials, op-eds. "He's a drunk. He's dangerous. He should resign."

  Ainsley Hayes : I wrote one of those op-ed pieces.

  Leo McGarry : I know.

• Ainsley Hayes : Mr. Tribbey? I'd like to do well on this, my first assignment. Any advice you could give me that might point me the way of success would be, by me, appreciated.

  Lionel Tribbey : Well, not speaking in iambic pentameter might be a step in the right direction.

• [Ainsley Hayes is about to meet her new boss, White House counsel Lionel Tribbey] 

  Leo McGarry : You're going to meet him right now. It's going to be fine...

  Ainsley Hayes : It's not going to be fine. He's gonna yell, and scream, I've seen him on TV...

  Leo McGarry : Well, that's TV. He's making a full-throated defense of the President. That's what we do. Believe me, in real life, when the cameras are off...

  [Lionel Tribbey storms into the office, smacking a cricket bat against the walls with great fury] 

  Lionel Tribbey : [screaming]  Leo! I will kill people today, Leo. I will kill people with this cricket bat, which was given to me by Her Royal Majesty Elizabeth Windsor, and then I will kill them again with my own hands.

• Ainsley Hayes : I just wanna die.

  Leo McGarry : It's the White House; you get used to that feeling.

• Ainsley Hayes : So you lied to me just then.

  Leo McGarry : I'm a politician, Ainsley. Of course I lied to you just then.

  Ainsley Hayes : My first day is getting off to a great start.

• Leo McGarry : It's written down here. This is the steam pipe trunk distribution venue.

  Ainsley Hayes : I'm working in the steam pipe trunk distribution venue?

  Leo McGarry : No, you're working in your office.

  Ainsley Hayes : Well... Thank you for the help.

  Leo McGarry : Ainsley, don't worry about Sam or Josh and Toby or C.J. or the Democrats on the hill or Republicans on TV. You're here to serve the President. Anyway... welcome to the White House.

• Ainsley Hayes : The President's way too moderate for your taste.

  Lionel Tribbey, White House Counsel : Excuse me?

  Ainsley Hayes : On affirmative action, capital gains, public schools, free trade... You left a lucrative practice in Chicago and a seven-figure income.

  [beat] 

  Ainsley Hayes : It wasn't out of duty?

• Lionel Tribbey : Who is this?

  Leo McGarry : This is Ainsley Hayes. She's scared of meeting you, so be nice.

  Lionel Tribbey : Ah, the girl who's been writing the columns.

  Leo McGarry : Yeah.

  Lionel Tribbey : [to Ainsley]  You're an idiot.

  Ainsley Hayes : Leo...

  Leo McGarry : She's not an idiot, Lionel. She clerked for Dreifort.

  Lionel Tribbey : Well, Dreifort's an idiot.

  Leo McGarry : Dreifort's a Supreme Court Justice, Lionel, so let's speak of him with respect and practice some tolerance for those who disagree with us.

  Lionel Tribbey : I believe, as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and the first, fourth, fifth, and ninth amendments, I will remain intolerant toward him.

  [grins at Ainsley] 

  Lionel Tribbey : Nice to meet you.

• Ainsley Hayes : You're sending me to the Majority Counsel 'cause I speak Republican.

• Sam Seaborn : See, I was told you were just going to be working in the Majority Counsel's office, which I wasn't wild about to begin with, but it's my understanding I'd be talking to Brookline and Joyce, seeing as how they work for me.

  Ainsley Hayes : I was taking initiative.

  Sam Seaborn : Well, wasn't that spunky of you.

  Ainsley Hayes : Sam, do you think there's any chance that you could be rude to me tomorrow? Tomorrow is Saturday. I will be here. You can call me and be rude by phone or you can stop by and do it in person. 'Cause I think if I have to endure another disappointment today from this place that I have worshipped, I am gonna lose it. So if you could wait until tomorrow, I would appreciate it.

• Ainsley Hayes : [disbelieving]  Lionel Tribbey thinks hiring me was a great idea.

  Leo McGarry : Why are you surprised?

  Ainsley Hayes : Well, because I'm a Republican, and Lionel Tribbey is... incredibly not.

• Leo McGarry : I'll be honest with you. I didn't even know we had offices down here.

  Ainsley Hayes : That bodes well for me.

  Leo McGarry : I wonder what else we got down here.

  Ainsley Hayes : Bats, probably?