- Colin Mochrie: [in "Scene to Rap", about an earthquake]
- [rapping]
- Colin Mochrie: Stand back, everyone, only one chance. / I am the lord of the Riverdance! / I'll do something to stop the vibrations, / by doing the dance of the Celtic nation!
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Hoedown", about blind dates]
- [singing]
- Ryan Stiles: I had a blind date just the other night, / the type of girl that really shouldn't be in the light. / She wasn't really attractive, she was kinda bland, / but she still beat the hell out of using my right hand.
- Drew Carey: [before "Song Styles", regarding audience member Sheila] Despite her appearances, she claims to be an attorney.
- [laughs]
- Drew Carey: She's an attorney, yeah, so is Susan Dey.
- [audience laughter]
- Drew Carey: Every good looking woman's an attorney.