- Wayne Brady: [in "Hats", wearing a hat with moose antlers] I tried... gettin' all fancied up for ya. Too much mousse?
- Greg Proops: [wearing a viking hat] I'm from Minnesota. We have come for your women!
- Colin Mochrie: [wearing an Abraham Lincoln mask] The last time I "four scored" was twenty years ago!
- Wayne Brady: [wearing a hat with a feather sticking out the back] I'm not necessarily LOOKING for a date, but I can get YOU one.
- Ryan Stiles: [wearing a blonde wig] I know what you're thinking.
- [pause]
- Ryan Stiles: There's only one way to find out.
- Greg Proops: [wearing a hat shaped like a putting green] They're aaaaaalways after me Lucky Charms!
- Colin Mochrie: [wearing a "Cat in the Hat" hat] I will have you on a boat. I will have you with a goat. On a boat, with a goat, I don't care.
- Wayne Brady: [wearing an eye visor] Yes, captain, I'd like some booty.
- Ryan Stiles: [wearing a wrestling title belt, pointing at the camera] Yeah, we're gonna go on a date. I'll see you next Thursday night on that date! You be there! I'll be there!
- [flexes his arms]
- Greg Proops: [wearing a pink wig with curlers] My name's Mimi, and I'll take anyone but that Drew Carey!
- Drew Carey: Hey, listen: We have a special supplement in the TV Guide this week. It's the special "Whose Line is it Anyway?", uh, score book. If you don't have one in your TV Guide, call TV Guide and complain.
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Weird Newscasters"] A national study shows that balding men make the best lovers.
- [audience cheers]