Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series)
Show No. 219 (2000)
Colin Mochrie: Self
Photos
Quotes
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Colin Mochrie : [after "Superheroes", upon solving the game's "crisis"] Now it's time to find the guy who made that suggestion!
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Colin Mochrie : [in "Whose Line", the setting being the Alamo]
[as Davy Crockett]
Colin Mochrie : I-I'm losing my nerve. Can you relax me by singing "Let's Dance" again?
Ryan Stiles : [as Jim Bowie] We haven't got time for that! We're the last two alive! They're comin' on us, Colin.
Colin Mochrie : I'd feel much better wrestlin' a bar.
Ryan Stiles : [mimes shooting his gun] A "bar"?
Colin Mochrie : A bear.
Ryan Stiles : Look, chances are we're not gonna make it through this. Chances are, we're gonna die. There's something I've been meanin' to tell you all these years. Well, you know, we were young boys when we started together.
[Colin mimes shooting; Drew laughs]
Ryan Stiles : I always meant to say to you, never I've had the time.
[Colin mimes shooting]
Ryan Stiles : I want to say it now.
[reading pre-written line]
Ryan Stiles : "Lay a wet one on me, big guy." Come on!
Colin Mochrie : No! No!
Ryan Stiles : Whaddya want? Are you afraid? Come on!
Colin Mochrie : That's not how I want it to end!
Ryan Stiles : Come on!
Colin Mochrie : No! There's too much of that goin' around...
Ryan Stiles : They're comin' over the wall!
[Colin looks away; Ryan grabs his head and kisses him on the cheek]
Colin Mochrie : Here, have some pie. Oh, remember the a la mode.
Ryan Stiles : I didn't think I'd have to force myself on you like that.
Colin Mochrie : Well, don't! Remember, we, we're here to do what we have to do! Remember our motto:
[reading pre-written line]
Colin Mochrie : "Why are you dressed like a French maid?"
Ryan Stiles : To confuse the enemy!
Colin Mochrie : Confuse 'em? They're just comin', they're more than comin'!
Ryan Stiles : They're expectin' us to be wearin' buckskins and carryin' guns, but who's expectin' THIS?
[mimes walking in high heels]
Ryan Stiles : [mimes shooting] See? I got another one! He was lookin' and not fightin'!
Colin Mochrie : The least you could do is wear fishnet stockings instead of... stapling pickerel to your legs!
Ryan Stiles : Look...
[Colin mimes shooting]
Ryan Stiles : I don't want people to say we went down as cowards. I want, from generations now, when people talk about the alimony-
[amused]
Ryan Stiles : the alimony!
Colin Mochrie : No! We're not married anymore!
Ryan Stiles : I wanted to say "Remember the alimony!"
Colin Mochrie : No!
Ryan Stiles : What?
Colin Mochrie : What do you want them to say? Forget the alimony! That marriage is illegal in this state!
Ryan Stiles : When we're dead, I want people to wake up tomorrow morning and read that headline in that paper that says,
[reading pre-written line]
Ryan Stiles : "It's time for your sponge bath!" I want them to feel so DIRTY about this that they have to clean themselves! I want them to know what we did here today.
[mimes walking in high heels and shooting]
Colin Mochrie : Now you're just makin' them mad. You're right, we're gonna go out- click click. Uh-oh. We're gonna go out in a blaze of glory.
Ryan Stiles : [mimes accidentally shooting Colin] Oh! Click click! I thought it was empty, I'm sorry!
Colin Mochrie : [sarcastically] Well, that's nice, isn't it? THANK you, THANK you.
Ryan Stiles : Let me get you a towel.
Colin Mochrie : Forget the towel! Oh, I'm not gonna sleep tonight. Look. We have no bullets. Get your knife.
Ryan Stiles : ...Turn away.
[mimes lifting a knife out of his stockings]
Colin Mochrie : Here, take this rock. Let's run out... and we'll shout the worst... the most terrifying battle cry these guys have ever heard.
Ryan Stiles : I'm with you.
Colin Mochrie : All right, here we go.
[reading pre-written note, with Ryan]
Colin Mochrie : "Shut up and touch the monkey!"
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Drew Carey - Host : [in "Scenes from a Hat"] "Bad game show concepts."
Colin Mochrie : Wheel! Of! Mucus!
Ryan Stiles : I'd like to buy a bowel.
Colin Mochrie : I'll take what's behind whore number one.
