- Colin Mochrie: [in "Greatest Hits" about Songs of the Dog Walker] The Beatles! Rolling Stones! Barbra Streisand! Bruce Springsteen! These are just some of the people who threatened to sue if we used THEIR songs.
- Ryan Stiles: You know, there's so many hits on this song, that it was hard to compile 'em in just this set.
- Colin Mochrie: Boy, we should have "Songs of the English Teacher" to help you out!
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Greatest Hits" about Songs of the Dog Walker] You know, in the 1970s, when I was in high school, I belonged to a, a band called "The Happy Funk Band", until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school.
- Ryan Stiles: [in "World's Worst" Things to Say at an Awards Ceremony] Thank you, I'd like to thank everybody I've ever met.
- [pause]
- Ryan Stiles: Jim, Sarah, Bob, Shirley, Phil, Aunt Doris, Uncle Peter, Henry Fonda, Jill the weathergirl, Susan, my first wife Cheryl, Dick York...
- Ryan Stiles: [in "World's Worst" Things to Say at an Awards Ceremony] But I'd like to thank everyone who made this possible...
- [mimes holding award up to ear]
- Ryan Stiles: What? "Satan is my master"?
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Film TV & Theater Styles"]
- [regarding Colin's character, a mummy]
- Ryan Stiles: It's the mummy from Canada!
- Greg Proops: I thought the Egyptians had cured baldness!
- Drew Carey: Thousand points for everybody! Usually a thousand, but for you, 999! 999! I'm givin' the points away, only 999!
- [shaking head]
- Drew Carey: I'm craaaaazy!
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Film Dub"]
- [dubbing a bartender with an Irish accent]
- Colin Mochrie: Hey, what seems to be the trouble here? What you doin'?
- Greg Proops: [dubbing a child] I can't understand what you're saying with that accent!
- Colin Mochrie: Haven't got an accent. Don't you know Norwegian when you hear it?
- Wayne Brady: [in "Let's Make a Date"] Now every now and then, I like to go down and shake the bootay, but so I wanna know what kind of music makes you shake your groove thang.
- Ryan Stiles: [on-screen text: "Strip club bouncer"] I don't shake my "groove thing", and I make sure other people don't shake theirs. I'll show you how to work the pole, but you can't touch or you're out!