Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series)
Show No. 336 (2001)
Ryan Stiles: Self
Photos
Quotes
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Drew Carey : [in "Film, TV & Theater Styles"] Uh, "horror show." Horror movie.
Ryan Stiles : You two aren't married?
Colin Mochrie : No.
Ryan Stiles : [to Kathy Greenwood] You whore.
[Colin murmurs to Ryan over audience laughter]
Ryan Stiles : You two are...
[Ryan mouths "I'm sorry" to Kathy]
Drew Carey : [buzzes them out] A thousand points to Ryan, for using the word
[mouths "whore"]
Drew Carey : on national TV.
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Colin Mochrie : [in "The Millionaire Show", the theme being Jerry Springer]
[asking the first question]
Colin Mochrie : If your mother divorces
[makes air quotes]
Colin Mochrie : "your father"... and marries your aunt's uncle's father's son, what relation...
Ryan Stiles : [to audience] Hey hey hey, you don't know about me, shut up!
[audience boos]
Ryan Stiles : You don't know...
[makes "come here" gesture to audience]
Colin Mochrie : Okay, sit down!
Ryan Stiles : They don't know nothin' about me!
Colin Mochrie : Oh they don't WANNA know nothin' about you.
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Colin Mochrie : [in "The Millionaire Show", the theme being Jerry Springer] Here is your question. Your transvestite lover and you are invited to a black tie affair. Do you, A: Pass her off as your wife, B: Pass her off as your brother, C: Pass her off as your husband, D: Tell her to lose the chaps?
Ryan Stiles : Wow. I don't know anything about vampires...
Colin Mochrie : Transvestites.
Ryan Stiles : Huh?
Colin Mochrie : Not Transylvanians, ya moron! Transvestites!
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Ryan Stiles : [in "The Millionaire Show", the theme being Jerry Springer]
[using his phone lifeline]
Ryan Stiles : I wanna call the mother of my baby, my sister Alicia. You can get 'em, right?
Colin Mochrie : Yeah, you don't have to phone her.
Ryan Stiles : All right.
Colin Mochrie : [to Kathy Greenwood] You there?
Kathy Greenwood : [off-screen, to Ryan] Yeah, hey, I was just about to call you. My...
Ryan Stiles : Hey, how are you, baby?
Kathy Greenwood : My frilly underwear's missin' again.
Ryan Stiles : Well I ain't wearin' it!
Kathy Greenwood : Yeaaaaahh right, you ain't wearin' it. Whaddya want?
Ryan Stiles : Is it A, B, C, er D?
[pause]
Ryan Stiles : I don't know where I got an accent from all of a sudden!
[to Colin, whispering]
Ryan Stiles : You know, sssh, when I talk to her, I talk with an accent.
[touches Colin's right arm]
Ryan Stiles : I don't want her to know where I'm from.
Colin Mochrie : Don't ever touch me AGAIN!
Ryan Stiles : Sorry.
[to Kathy]
Ryan Stiles : Hey baby, is it A, C, B, er D?
Kathy Greenwood : I don't...
Colin Mochrie : A, B, C, or D.
Ryan Stiles : A, B, C, er D.
Kathy Greenwood : I don't know which of them numbers it is. I'd say C.
Ryan Stiles : Is that your favorite number?
Kathy Greenwood : Yeah baby, C's my favorite number...
Colin Mochrie : You know what? She's RIGHT HERE!
[walks to the side of the stage and Kathy mimes hanging up the phone]
Colin Mochrie : Come out!
Ryan Stiles : Honey, if I get this question right, I win myself $100!
[winks at Colin]
Kathy Greenwood : All riiiiight!
Colin Mochrie : And I've been sleeping with her, and she's two men!
[Colin mimes punches Ryan, who falls to the floor]
Colin Mochrie : Ya beep!
[pretends to make out with Kathy]
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Ryan Stiles : [in "Hoedown", about Playboy photographers]
[singing]
Ryan Stiles : I'm takin' pictures of Drew, out by his pool. / He wants to be in the nude, I think that's kind of cool. / He's payin' me lots of money, all of it in tens, / After lookin' at him, I think I'll need a telephoto lens.