Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series)

Show No. 603 (2003)

Greg Proops: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Drew Carey : [in "Scenes from a Hat"]  "Anecdotes dogs would tell if they appeared on talk shows."

  Greg Proops : So get this, Jay: We can't come apart. So the neighbor comes out with a hose. And we're goin' round and round and around... I mean, they had to call the fire department, you know what I'm saying? Oh, this bitch was in heat, let me tell you something.

  Ryan Stiles : So, I'm chasing what I THINK is another dog's tail...

  [leaves the stage; returns with another joke] 

  Ryan Stiles : [to Colin]  Jerry, I'm here to tell my husband I'm in love with a cat.

  Colin Mochrie : ...Meow.

  [leaves the stage; returns with another joke] 

  Colin Mochrie : So, as I'm licking, I hiccup and my testicles become lodged in my throat! Well, I couldn't breathe! Man! Wow! I still have a bit lodged there right now.

  Greg Proops : Yeah, I'm Drew Carey's dog, and y'know, right around eleven o'clock, he breaks out the peanut butter, and I know what's coming.

• Greg Proops : [after "Party Quirks"]  Was he an anthropologist?

  [referring to Colin's quirk, "Serious scientist testing how much annoyance people can stand before cracking"] 

  Drew Carey : No, he's just a rat in a maze.

  [referring to Ryan's quirk, "Rat traveling through a maze to reach the cameras where he's given either cheese or an electric shock"] 

  Greg Proops : No, no, COLIN.

  Colin Mochrie : Aren't we ALL just rats in a maze?

  Drew Carey : Yeah.

  Greg Proops : Man, that's deep.

  Drew Carey : I love you, Ryan Stiles.

  Ryan Stiles : [surprised look]  Can we just... talk about this later, Drew?

  Drew Carey : You know, I hardly get to say this to anybody, but you know, chaps would really make that outfit.

  [referring to Ryan's western shirt] 

• Greg Proops : [in "Hats", wearing a fish mask. He can be heard laughing underneath and takes it off]  I have a giant fish head on. I'm forty-two fucking years old.

• Drew Carey : Let's get the show rollin', but before I do, I wanna say a special hello to our little buckaroo, Ryan.

  [referencing his western-style shirt] 

  Drew Carey : [audience cheers] 

  Ryan Stiles : I'm trying to take some focus off the shoes.

  [camera cuts to a close-up of his blue shoes] 

  Drew Carey : Yeah. You know what? It really does.

  Greg Proops : Didn't you love him in "Toy Story"?

• Greg Proops : [in "Weird Newscasters", after Wayne's quirk] 

  [playing a "goofy white guy desperately trying to act street"] 

  Greg Proops : Man, that hood-rack was wiggity wiggity whack!

  Colin Mochrie : It certainly was. Shalack-a-lack-a-lack.

  Greg Proops : She had her breezies all in my face and stuff!

• Greg Proops : [in "Scenes From a Hat", the suggestion is musicals about different U.S. states] 

  [singing] 

  Greg Proops : Goin' back to Mississippi, where my cousin is my dad!