- Ryan Stiles: [in "Number of Words", in a scene from "The Mummy"]
- [can only say five word sentences]
- Ryan Stiles: Sorry I'm late. Really late.
- Wayne Brady: [can only say three word sentences] Who are you?
- Ryan Stiles: I... am the man known...
- Colin Mochrie: [can only say two word sentences] ... As what?
- Ryan Stiles: ...As Felipe Roger Phillip... III.
- Wayne Brady: Say that again.
- Ryan Stiles: Ha! You'd like that... huh?
- Drew Carey: [before "Infomercial"]
- [to audience]
- Drew Carey: What I need for you guys, uh, is a suggestion of a bad habit that could be cured by a miracle product.
- [audience shouts suggestion]
- Drew Carey: Okay, snoring. Thank you. Good for you.
- [one audience member shouts, "Listening to Britney Spears!"]
- Drew Carey: [chuckles] "Listening to Britney Spears."
- Ryan Stiles: Same thing.
- Drew Carey: [laughs; audience cheers] Britney, if you're out there with your fine ass, I love you.
- Ryan Stiles: Ooh.
- [sarcastic]
- Ryan Stiles: Smooth tongue.
- Drew Carey: That's right. Uh, I will not make fun of Britney Spears, while I think I have a chance. Uh...
- [chuckles]
- Drew Carey: I have a dream! That I will climb the mountaintops!
- Wayne Brady: [incredulously, in the background] Oh my God!
- Drew Carey: [in "Scenes from a Hat"] "Ads where the product and the style don't match."
- Wayne Brady: Rah! S- rock on into the morning with Little Old Lady Tea Cubes, by Kickassor!
- Ryan Stiles: [quietly, timidly] Ever, uh... ever dream of owning a Harley Davidson?
- Wayne Brady: [humming and snapping] Capitol punishment...
- Jeff Davis: Say "mazel tov" to bacon!
- Colin Mochrie: This town ain't big enough for the two of us, Tex. You look a little scared. Try these adult diapers.