Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series)

Show No. 7008 (2005)

Ryan Stiles: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Drew Carey : [before "Greatest Hits"]  Uh, what's gonna happen is, uh... Ryan and Colin are gonna pretend to be commercial TV pitch guys, they're gonna make up titles of songs, and they're gonna give the title to uh, Brad and uh, Chip here, and also give them-

  [Wayne looks offended] 

  Ryan Stiles : [interrupting]  Did Brad show up?

  Drew Carey : What?

  Ryan Stiles : Brad showed up?

  Drew Carey : Oh, what'd I call Wayne? I'm sorry.

  [Wayne starts to walk off-stage] 

  Chip Esten : [pulling him back]  No, he meant ME: Brad-Chip.

  Drew Carey : Oh man.

  Ryan Stiles : Hey, Clive's allowed to make mistakes.

  [audience applauds] 

  Drew Carey : I'm sorry, Greg.

• Colin Mochrie : [in "Greatest Hits", about songs of the lunch lady]  Hi, we'll be right back in our documentary of how a species goes extinct, in "The Making of Ryan's Shoes", in just a second.

  [Ryan pretends his stomach is growling] 

  Colin Mochrie : Hey Ryan, what's wrong?

  Ryan Stiles : Well that's my stomach, Colin! Boy, am I hungry.

  Colin Mochrie : Boy, that's music to my ears.

  Ryan Stiles : You know, I wish- wish life was like school. Remember? You could just walk by with a tray, and that lunch lady would fill it up with food.

  Colin Mochrie : Oh, that's right.

  Ryan Stiles : [pause]  Thanks for the help. You know...

  [Drew laughs] 

  Ryan Stiles : The lunch lady is not thought of very often. That's why we've compiled two songs on two CDs. Actually, it's more songs...

  Colin Mochrie : More songs than two.

  Ryan Stiles : It's six. Eight. Who knows how many? It's a surprise CD.

  Colin Mochrie : You know, there's many artists on this, uh... AALLLLLLLL-BUUUUMMM!... Just had a high school flashback.

  Ryan Stiles : [laughing]  What?

  Colin Mochrie : THAT'S where I put that library book!

  [pause] 

  Colin Mochrie : Anyway...

  Ryan Stiles : You're a bit "Dazed and Confused".

  Colin Mochrie : I AM a bit "Dazed and Confused"!

  Ryan Stiles : You know, Colin, the U.S. of A has so many different types of music, and sometimes, it goes by areas. Uh, been down south lately?

  Colin Mochrie : No. Have YOU?

  [Ryan does a double take] 

  Colin Mochrie : Oh, am I sorry, am I not supposed to engage you in conversation? Yes, I have been down south.

  Ryan Stiles : If you're gonna get testy with me, I'm not gonna sell this anymore.

  Colin Mochrie : We'll talk about this back home!

• Colin Mochrie : [in "Greatest Hits", about songs of the lunch lady]  You know...

  [coughs] 

  Colin Mochrie : [Ryan starts laughing]  You know, you should always, here's a tip for any announcers at home: Swallow before you speak.

  Ryan Stiles : Are you all right?

  Colin Mochrie : I'm absolutely fine, thanks.

  Ryan Stiles : People aren't gonna buy the CDs if you keep doing THAT.

  Colin Mochrie : SURE they will! Do you know why? 'Cause I was doing a punk thing there!

  Ryan Stiles : What?

  Colin Mochrie : Oh, I was, I belonged to a punk group in Canada!

  Ryan Stiles : [coughs]  Ah!

  Colin Mochrie : Yeah, we were called the... Naughty Boys. 'Cause we were polite, we didn't want to get really nasty.

  Ryan Stiles : I didn't know what you were doing. I thought you were just choking.

  Colin Mochrie : No, I was doing a punk thing.

  [coughs] 

  Colin Mochrie : And WHY was I doing a punk thing?

  Ryan Stiles : I guess 'cause you're gonna give us a new title of a new song.

  Colin Mochrie : [growling]  A great punk song... that was a-about lunch ladies! You wanna hear what the title of it is?

  Ryan Stiles : Why are you doing an old sea captain now? Just give 'em the title of the song!

  [imitates Popeye's laugh and then makes a parrot squawk]