Will & Grace (TV Series)

A Chorus Lie (2002)

Sean Hayes: Jack McFarland

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jack : Holy Anne Heche Laffoon he's straight.

• Grace : Hey, I know I said it before, but I hate men. Here's an update, now they hate me. Just now in the grocery store I was flirting with that cute produce guy...

  Grace : gave him the hair...

  [Grace flips her hair] 

  Grace : the eyes...

  [Grace gives a sexy stare] 

  Grace : the teeth.

  [Grace smiles, showing her teeth] 

  Grace : He asked me if I needed something to keep me from swallowing my tongue.

  Will : So you got dissed by some guy in the produce department, big deal.

  Grace : Did I not mention what happened in the meat, dairy, and cutomer service departments.

  Jack : Hey, H.R. Desperate-Stuff, stop trying to pick up guys in the grocery store, huh.

  Grace : Did I not mention what also happened in the hardware store, drug store, liquor store, and Big Apple Circus.

• Jack McFarland : [Jack suspects Owen, his competition for a spot in the Manhattan Gay Men's Chorus, is really straight]  Hug me.

  Owen : What?

  Jack McFarland : Well, I feel - I feel that we're close now. We shared.

  [they hug] 

  Jack McFarland : Ooh, interesting. You gave me the straight-guy-double-pat-on-the-back-no-hip-contact hug.

  Owen : Actually it was more the gay-guy-bend-at-the-waist-feel-your-delts-check-out-your-shoes hug.

  Jack McFarland : Ah, yes, how could I have mistaken the two. Heh.

• Owen : Whoops, my hand seems to be traveling up your thigh towards your ROCKIN' ASS. But who cares right? Cause I'm gay. So it's all right if I tell you you're beautiful, throw you down on this couch and make out with you fiercely, right?

  Grace : Yup, because you're gay, I should be on top.

  [Start making out] 

  Grace : Ya know, you're a good kisser for a gay guy, and I've kissed a lot of gay guys.

  [enter Jack with camera] 

  Jack : Got you, you sick straight bastard.

  Grace : Jack get lost, I'm not done.

• Owen : You don't have any proof.

  Jack : I have photos.

  Owen : There's no film in that camera.

  Jack : Of course there is.

  [He rips the film out of the camera] 

  Jack : See? Like I'd be stupid enough not to put film in my own camera.

• Will : So, where's the movie? Did you get "The Age of Innocence" the way I asked?

  Jack McFarland : [acting innocent]  Oh, I'm sorry, I must have mis-heard you. I thought you said to rent, "Turn Your Head and Cough: Army Physicals Caught on Tape".

  [Will smiles in approval] 

• Jack McFarland : [TO OWEN]  Uh, excuse me. As Aretha said to Gloria, Celine, Shania, and Mariah during Divas Live...

  [AS ARETHA] 

  Jack McFarland : "Are you trippin'? No one interrupts the Queen of Soul, bitch. Ok?"

  Owen : Well, I believe she also said, "Hey, Cuba, Canada, cowgirl, Crazy, get out of my light and away from my snacks, bitch."

• [singing 'Wishin' & Hopin'] 

  Jack : Wishin' and a-Hopin'...

  Owen : Dreamin' and a-Prayin'...

  Jack : Lyin' and a-Cheatin'.

  Owen : Tubby and a-Tone Deaf.

  Jack : - STOP IT.