The Young Ones (TV Series)

Bambi (1984)

Adrian Edmondson: Vyvyan

Photos 

Quotes 

• [reading a sign on the train] 

  Vyvyan : "Do not lean out of the window." I wonder why?

  [he does so and is decapitated] 

• Vyvyan : [Taking out a book]  Well, I've done my revision.

  Mike : The Daily Mirror Book of Facts: Did You Know?

  Neil : Do you think that's where they get the questions from? The world's record for stuffing marshmallows up one single nostril...

  Vyvyan : Ehhh... 604, Toxteth O'Grady, USA.

  Neil : Yeah, right! World's stickiest bogey?

  Vyvyan : Ha! Tried to fool me. That's Toxteth again!

  Rick : The World's Stupidest Bottom-Burp: Vyvyan, Britain!

  Neil : It says "Rick" here.

• Vyvyan : This calls for a delicate blend of psychology and extreme violence.

• Security Guard : Hang On, What's that?

  Vyvyan : It's my mascot.

  Security Guard : A pig?

  Vyvyan : No!

  Security Guard : It is.

  Vyvyan : It's not, it's a ferret. A severely deformed ferret, I'll grant you that. So severely deformed in fact that it looks a little bit like a pig.

  Security Guard : Looks exactly like a pig.

  Vyvyan : Yes, well, it certainly has been remarked upon. In fact, just as John Hurt is known as the Elephant Man, Bacon Sandwich here is known as the Pig Ferret.

  Security Guard : Bacon Sandwich? Funny name for a ferret, isn't it?

  Vyvyan : Ha ha! And that's where I had you fooled. Because it's not a ferret, it's a pig.

• [taking on the persona of Mike] 

  Vyvyan : As the one guy said to the other guy when he was getting fed up, "I'm getting fed up."

• Rick : [stands up from the table]  Why don't you like me?

  Vyvyan : Cos you're a complete bastard

  Rick : Vyvyan, I'm being serious

  Vyvyan : So am I. You're a complete bastard and we all hate you.

  Rick : [chuckles and places hands on hips]  I find that very difficult to believe.

  Vyvyan : You wanna bet on it? I'll put down a fiver.

  Neil : Yea I will too.

  Mike : Count me in.

• [speaking to Bambi, the host of "University Challenge"] 

  Vyvyan : I liked the part where you shoved the drill in the virgin otter's face.

  Neil : That wasn't in BAMBI, Vyvyan.

  Vyvyan : It was in the sequel, "Bambi Goes Crazy Ape Bonkers with his Drill and Sex"

  Neil : Is that true Bambi? Did you do a Disney Nasty?

• Vyvyan : I myself have three pairs of socks, and three pairs of knickers. That means I've only worn them... 269 times each since the last wash.

• Neil : [Rick is gulping down pills trying to kill himself]  Uh, Vyvyan, can you actually kill yourself with laxatives?

  Vyvyan : I don't know, Neil, but I'm gonna stay and find out!

• [Vyvyan's head has come off after he stuck it out of a train window. His head is now lying on the ground beside the track, calling his headless body over] 

  Vyvyan : You took your time, you bastard!

  [his body starts kicking his head down the track like a ball] 

• Vyvyan : Achtung!

  [throws a potato-masher hand grenade at the other team]