The Young Ones (TV Series)
Bambi (1984)
Rik Mayall: Rick
Photos
Quotes
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Vyvyan : [Taking out a book] Well, I've done my revision.
Mike : The Daily Mirror Book of Facts: Did You Know?
Neil : Do you think that's where they get the questions from? The world's record for stuffing marshmallows up one single nostril...
Vyvyan : Ehhh... 604, Toxteth O'Grady, USA.
Neil : Yeah, right! World's stickiest bogey?
Vyvyan : Ha! Tried to fool me. That's Toxteth again!
Rick : The World's Stupidest Bottom-Burp: Vyvyan, Britain!
Neil : It says "Rick" here.
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Rick : [stands up from the table] Why don't you like me?
Vyvyan : Cos you're a complete bastard
Rick : Vyvyan, I'm being serious
Vyvyan : So am I. You're a complete bastard and we all hate you.
Rick : [chuckles and places hands on hips] I find that very difficult to believe.
Vyvyan : You wanna bet on it? I'll put down a fiver.
Neil : Yea I will too.
Mike : Count me in.
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Neil : Ah I wished we'd missed the train after all now. I'm not going to be answering anything, I just know it.
Rick : Oh come off it Neil you little swotty-pants! God, just look at you. Swatting away for teacher like a total spazmo! God you're really just an utter creep aren't you? You've done loads and load of work for this, and I haven't done anything. Nothing at all! Go on... test me!
Neil : What?
Rick : Go on, test me!
Neil : You just said you hadn't done anything.
Rick : Stop trying to be clever, just take the book!
Neil : Alright. But verbatim regurgitation is against my principles.
Rick : I'm asking you to test me on it, not throw up on it! Alright, now do it properly and don't skip it.
Neil : O-Level history notes?
Rick : Yes! Bit of pretty bloody brilliant luck eh? We're doing exactly the same period as I did for O-Level.
Neil : [reading from Rick's notebook] "Prick is a wonker, signed the rest of the class."
Rick : Ha ha, yes, ha ha, no that was sort of an in-joke that we had in my form. Actually I was incredibly popular and everyone thought I was great.
Neil : [continues reading] "... I agree with the rest of the class, signed teacher."
Rick : [quickly turns to another page] Just test me on the stuff will you?
[points]
Rick : There.
Neil : Alright, alright. Don't get uncool and heavy.
[reads from a lesson]
Neil : "Crop rotation in the 14th century."
Rick : Right!
[reciting]
Rick : "Crop rotation in the 14th century was much more widespread..."
Neil : [interrupts] "Considerably more."
Rick : What?
Neil : It's "considerably more widespread" not "much more".
Rick : Well?
Neil : Well you said do it properly.
Rick : Well not that much you stupid, bloody hippie!
Neil : You said do it properly and don't skip bits! How was I to know that wasn't important?
Rick : WELL IT WASN'T IMPORTANT! Alright? Now shall we just get on and stop wasting time like this? Right. Crop rotation in the 14th century was *considerably* more widespread after... God I know this... um... don't tell me... after... 1172!
[Neil is silent and just looks at Rick]
Rick : Well, was I right?
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Bambi : Hello and welcome to another edition of University Challenge. This week, the teams represent Footlights College, Oxbridge.
Footlights Supporters : Rah! Rah! Rah! We're going to smash the oiks!
Bambi : Yes, that's the spirit. And, Scumbag College.
SPG : Ooh, aye! Up Scumbag! Up Scumbag!
[the Footlights supporters boo. SPG the hamster moves up to a teddy bear held by one of the Footlights supporters]
SPG : See you, teddy bear! C'mere!
[he headbutts the teddy]
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Rick : You spiteful bastard, Neil! Just because you've done loads and loads of work for this, just because you're a creepy little swot you've done about 15 million tons of work for this, like a girl, and I'm so hard and street and cool that I've done absolutely bugger all, and you've done loads, look at it, loads and loads, loads and loads...
Neil : Stop it, Rick! It's only University Challenge, Rick, it's only University Challenge!
Rick : ...loads and loads, loads and loads...
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Neil : No, but I didn't think it was important!
Rick : OK, look, what was the answer then?
Neil : You just said not to tell you.
Rick : I did not! I bloody well did not!
Neil : You did! You did! You said "don't tell me" just before you said "1172"!
Rick : Yes, but I only meant for a minute!
Neil : What, a minute from now or a minute from then?
Rick : Look, just shut up and tell me the answer!
Neil : Shut up and tell you the answer?
Rick : [yells] JUST TELL ME THE ANSWER!
Neil : [looks back at the book] "John".
Rick : Thank you... "John"?
Neil : Yeah, "John" is the answer.
Rick : "Crop rotation in the 14th century was considerably more widespread after... John"?
Neil : "... Lloyd invented the patent crop rotator."
Rick : Oh, yes! I knew it, I bloody knew it!
Neil : You didn't, you didn't, you said "1172"! That's not a bit like "John".
Rick : You spiteful bastard, Neil! Just because you've done loads and loads of work for this, just because you're a creepy little swot you've done about 15 million tons worth of work, like a girl, and it's because I'm so hard and street and cool that I've done absolutely bugger all,
[hysterical]
Rick : and you've done loads and loads, loads and loads, loads and loads and loads, and loads and loads load...
[making a mess of Neil's papers]
Neil : Stop it, Rick! It's only University Challenge, Rick, it's only University Challenge!
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Rick : We're getting thrashed, we're getting completely thrashed. Isn't there some way we can cheat?
