Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Demons & Angels (1992)

Craig Charles: Lister

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lister : Nothing's gonna happen. We're just doing it as a precaution. The whole ship's full of fail-safes anyway. Cooling systems, containment panels, vacuum shields. The actual chances of it blowing are about one in...

  [Red Dwarf's engine core explodes and totally destroys the ship] 

  Lister : One.

• High Lister : Have I told you today how much I love thee, brother? How much my heart glimmers like a newborn star when I gaze upon thine beauteous countenance?

  High Rimmer : Thy love refreshes and cleanses me like a babbling mountain stream, brother.

  Rimmer : What a bunch of losers!

• Lister : Someone get behind me.

  Kryten : I'm going to come around behind you now, sir.

  Lister : Okay, Kryten, take me by surprise.

  Kryten : I'm coming around behind you to take you by surprise, sir.

  Lister : Get on with it, surprise me.

  Kryten : You may get an unpleasant sensation of chloroform. Don't be alarmed.

  Lister : Surprise me now.

  Kryten : Here comes my surprise, sir.

• High Lister : Forgive me, brother. I appear to have stained thy knife-end with my blood. A thousand apologies.

  [falls over] 

• Lister : I tell you one thing: I've been to a parallel universe, I've seen time running backwards, I've played pool with planets, and I've given birth to twins, but I never thought in my entire life I'd taste an edible Pot Noodle.