Futurama (TV Series)

The Series Has Landed (1999)

John DiMaggio: Bender, Sal, Animatronic Whalers, Not Evans, Evans, Man in Line

Photos 

Quotes 

• [after being kicked out of a theme park] 

  Bender : Yeah, well... I'm gonna go build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the park!

• Leela : Fry, we have a crate to deliver.

  Fry : Well let's just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it.

  Bender : Too much work. Let's burn it and *say* we dumped it in the sewer.

• Fry : Uh, greetings Moon Man, we come in peace. I am Fry from the planet Earth.

  Sal : Wise guy huh? If I wasn't so lazy I'd punch you in the stomach.

  Fry : But, you are lazy right?

  Sal : Oh, don't get me started.

• [Bender is caught with the moon farmer's robot daughters and is chased into the barn with Leela and Fry] 

  Fry : Bender, you didn't touch the Crushinator, did you?

  Bender : Of course not. A girl that fine you gotta romance first.

• Moon Rover Ride Narrator : No one really knows when, where, or how man landed on the moon...

  Fry : I do!

  Moon Rover Ride Narrator : ...but our Fungineers imagine it went something like this.

  [Animatronic whalers emerge from a lunar lander] 

  Animatronic Whalers : [singing]  We're whalers on the moon.

  Animatronic Gophers , Animatronic Gophers : We carry a harpoon.

  Animatronic Whalers , Animatronic Gophers , Leela : But there are no whales, so we tell tall tales and sing a whaling tune.

  Fry : That's not how it happened.

  Leela : Oh, really? I don't see you with a Fungineering degree.

• Craterface : Welcome to Luna Park, I'm Craterface. I'm going to have to confiscate your alcohol, sir.

  Bender : Ah, better looking mascots than you have tried.

  [sticks bottle in Craterface's eye] 

  Craterface : At least I still have my self respect.

  [laughs, then sobs] 

• Amy Wong : Leela's gonna kill me.

  Bender : Naw, she'll probably make me do it.

• [Amy is trying to retrieve the keys to the spaceship, which have fallen into an arcade crane game] 

  Bender : Come on, it's just like making love. Y'know... left, down, rotate sixty-two degrees, engage rotor...

  Amy Wong : I know how to make love.

• Leela : Hurry, before we freeze.

  Bender : What do you mean "we", mammal?

• Amy Wong : Please, mister. Could you get my keys out of the machine?

  Sal : What do I look like? Some guy who's not lazy?

• Bender : You're the kind of guy who visits Jerusalem and doesn't want to visit the Sexeteria.

• [a commercial for Farnsworth's delivery company] 

  Horrible Gelatinous Blob : Evans! Where's that package from Earth?

  Not Evans : Uh...

  [H.G. Blob swallows him whole] 

  Not Evans : I'm not Evans!

  Horrible Gelatinous Blob : He should've used Planet Express!

  Commercial Announcer : When those other companies aren't brave of foolhardy enough to go, trust Planet Express for reliable on-time deliveries!

  Evans : Here's your package, Mr. Horrible Gelatinous Blob!

  Horrible Gelatinous Blob : Good work, Evans! You've got a future around here!

  [swallows him whole] 

  Evans : Thank you, sir!

• Professor Hubert Farnsworth : [Takes Bender's head off for cleaning]  My goodness, Bender. You're filthy.

  Bender : Yeah, like you don't have crap in your neck.

• Bender : Hey, look what I won off some tourist's pocket.

• [repeated line] 

  Bender : Bite my shiny metal ass!

• Fry : Hey, I got everyone magnets.

  [puts one on Bender's head] 

  Bender : Get it off! Get it off! Oh-oh. How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a... Aaoow!

  [Fry removes magnet] 

  Bender : Don't ever do that! Magnets interfer with my inhibition unit.

  Fry : So you flip out and start acting like a folk singer?

  Bender : Yes. Although a robot would have to be crazy to be a folk singer.

• Bender : [singing, to the tune of "She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain"]  Well, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes, / Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes, / Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun, / Oh, I'll shoot her with my ray gun, / Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes, / When she comes! / I'll be blastin' all the humans in the world, / I'll be blastin' all the humans in the world, / I'll be blastin' all the humans, / I'll be blastin' all the humans, / I'll be blastin' all the humans in the world, / In the world!

  [spoken] 

  Bender : One more time!

• [after Bender has acted very strange when a magnet was placed on his head] 

  Fry : So you flip out and start acting like some crazy folk-singer?

  Bender : Yes,

  [stares longingly into the distance] 

  Bender : I guess a robot would have to be crazy to wanna' be a folk-singer...

• [a commercial for Farnsworth's delivery company] 

  H.G. Blob : Evans! Where's that package from Earth?

  Employee : Uh...

  [H.G. Blob swallows him whole] 

  Employee : I'm not Evans!

  H.G. Blob : He should've used Planet Express!

  Commercial Narrator : When those other companies aren't brave or foolhardy enough to go, trust Planet Express for reliable on-time deliveries!

  Evans : Here's your package, Mr. Horrible Gelatinous Blob!

  H.G. Blob : Good work, Evans! You've got a future around here!

  [swallows him whole] 

  Evans : Thank you, sir!