Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)
The Crawling Eye (1989)
Trace Beaulieu: Crow T. Robot, Dr. Clayton Forrester
Quotes
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Joel : Well, I guess it's time for you guys to start experimenting on us again.
Dr. Forrester : I'll tell you when it's time to do the movie, you squinty-eyed space chimp!
Dr. Lawrence Erhardt : Uh, Clay...
Dr. Forrester : What?
Dr. Lawrence Erhardt : It is time.
Dr. Forrester : Oh. Yeah, I...
Dr. Lawrence Erhardt : Nice insult though.
Dr. Forrester : I knew that. Thank you. Well, it's a real stinkburger of a film this week, Joel. It's called "The Crawling Eye."
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Dr. Lawrence Erhardt : [on the movie] It's got a lame audio, it's in black and white, and worst of all it stars Forest Tucker.
Dr. Forrester : Hmm Good name, bad actor.
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Crow T. Robot : Joel, I think we've already spent more time examining this plot than the writers ever did.
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Dr. Forrester : It's time we sent you our experimental nugget this week, Joel. Now, human underarm perspiration is something that happens to everyone after they go through puberty... which, I assume, includes you, Joel.
[they chuckle]
Dr. Forrester : When's the last time you saw a dog sweat? Larry? Erhardt: Never!
Dr. Lawrence Erhardt : Never!
Dr. Forrester : Exactly! And why is that?
Dr. Lawrence Erhardt : Dogs don't sweat, that's why.
Dr. Forrester : Exactly! Because of the dog's pineal gland. Nature's own canine antiperspirant. Now. You take the pineal gland, and you make a serum. You get a dog, it doesn't matter what kind of dog, and you inject that serum into a human subject. In this case,
[Lawrence is about to speak]
Dr. Forrester : Larry!
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Dr. Forrester : Sail on, Silver Bird!
[injects Lawrence in the butt]
Dr. Lawrence Erhardt : D'oh, Jeez!
Dr. Forrester : Now, instantly the serum races through the bloodstream like a Porsche Targa 911, commandeering each pore, slamming it shut, like the vault at your favorite savings and loan!
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Alan (Forrest Tucker) : Too many things missing...
Crow T. Robot : Like a plot!
