- Joel: [speaking as the mountain as Anne Pilgrim stares blankly at it from the train] I am Mount Svengali. You will do as I say.
- Joel: Well, I guess it's time for you guys to start experimenting on us again.
- Dr. Forrester: I'll tell you when it's time to do the movie, you squinty-eyed space chimp!
- Dr. Lawrence Erhardt: Uh, Clay...
- Dr. Forrester: What?
- Dr. Lawrence Erhardt: It is time.
- Dr. Forrester: Oh. Yeah, I...
- Dr. Lawrence Erhardt: Nice insult though.
- Dr. Forrester: I knew that. Thank you. Well, it's a real stinkburger of a film this week, Joel. It's called "The Crawling Eye."
- Tom Servo: [asked to say a good and bag thing about the crawling eye] All right. Okay, let's see. The good thing was that we didn't have to watch them clean up the vitreous humour all over from the eyes exploding. Okay, imagine, you sign up that day for Kelly Temps - Trollenberg office, of course. They give you a leaky bucket and a turkey baster and send you up the mountain... Now you're on cleanup crew!
- Joel: And the bad thing?
- Tom Servo: Well, the bad thing was, uh, the movie? It was ambitious, but it lacked vision.
- Dr. Lawrence Erhardt: [on the movie] It's got a lame audio, it's in black and white, and worst of all it stars Forest Tucker.
- Dr. Forrester: Hmm Good name, bad actor.
- Crow T. Robot: Joel, I think we've already spent more time examining this plot than the writers ever did.
- Tom Servo: [speaking as the train conductor] Trollenberg, home of the Crawling Eye. All stops lead to a bloody death.
- Dr. Forrester: It's time we sent you our experimental nugget this week, Joel. Now, human underarm perspiration is something that happens to everyone after they go through puberty... which, I assume, includes you, Joel.
- [they chuckle]
- Dr. Forrester: When's the last time you saw a dog sweat? Larry? Erhardt: Never!
- Dr. Lawrence Erhardt: Never!
- Dr. Forrester: Exactly! And why is that?
- Dr. Lawrence Erhardt: Dogs don't sweat, that's why.
- Dr. Forrester: Exactly! Because of the dog's pineal gland. Nature's own canine antiperspirant. Now. You take the pineal gland, and you make a serum. You get a dog, it doesn't matter what kind of dog, and you inject that serum into a human subject. In this case,
- [Lawrence is about to speak]
- Dr. Forrester: Larry!
- Dr. Forrester: Sail on, Silver Bird!
- [injects Lawrence in the butt]
- Dr. Lawrence Erhardt: D'oh, Jeez!
- Dr. Forrester: Now, instantly the serum races through the bloodstream like a Porsche Targa 911, commandeering each pore, slamming it shut, like the vault at your favorite savings and loan!