The Simpsons (TV Series)
Treehouse of Horror II (1991)
Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Klown, Groundskeeper Willie, Mayor Quimby, Kodos, Others
Photos
Quotes
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Homer Simpson : All right I'll make a wish that can't possibly backfire. I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with mustard, and I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself or any other weird surprises, you got that?
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[last lines]
[Screen fades to black as creepy music plays, then the scene resumes with the normal Simpsons' music; looking like a canonical episode]
Narrator : Next week, on "The Simpsons".
Lisa Simpson : Don't forget Dad, tonight my class is having an all-you-can-eat spaghetti dinner.
Homer : Mmm... spaghetti.
Mr. Burns : But Homer, tonight's our reception for Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands.
Homer : DOH! I hate having two heads!
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Homer Simpson : He gets it from your side of the family, you know? No monsters on my side.
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[Homer awakens with a scream]
Marge Simpson : Did you have a nightmare, Homey?
Homer Simpson : No, Bart bit me!
Bart Simpson : Hey man, you were crushing me! I tried to scream, but my mouth was full of flab.
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[Homer answers the door to Jimbo and Kearney]
Jimbo , Kearney : Trick-or-treat, man!
Homer Simpson : Hey, aren't you a little old for this? You're not even wearing costumes!
Kearney : Hand over the candy, old dude, or we egg your house back to the Stone Age!
[Jimbo opens a carton. Homer tips the whole bowl into Kearney's sack]
Homer Simpson : Here you go, kids. Heh-heh...
[closes the door]
Homer Simpson : Lousy punks...
[He heads back to the living room, then comes the sound of eggs hitting the door]
Homer Simpson : D'OH!
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Homer Simpson : [Mr. Burns performs a lobotomy on Homer without anesthesia] Ow. Ow! Ow!
Mr. Burns : Oh, will you quit your complaining!
Smithers : Si, do you know what this means? He is alive!
Smithers : Oh, you're right, Smithers. I guess I owe you a Coke. And as for you, you clinking, clattering cacophany of colligenous cog and camshifts, take that! Agh!
[Mr. Burns kicks the robot, which tips and looms over him]
Smithers : Run Sir!
[the robot lands on Mr. Burns, crushing him save for his head]
Mr. Burns : Every bone shattered... organs leaking vital fluids... a slight headache... loss of appetite... Smithers, I'm going to die.
Smithers : Sir, is there nothing I can do?
Mr. Burns : Well, perhaps. Smithers, go to to my office. In the third drawer of my desk I... surgical tools and some either.
Homer Simpson : Aaaaaaaah!
[Homer wakes up]
Marge Simpson : Did you have a nightmare, Homie?
Homer Simpson : No, Bart bit me.
Bart Simpson : Hey, man, you were crushing me. I tried to scream, but my mouth was full of flab.
Homer Simpson : Eh, I gotta go shake the doo-whoop-a-dilly. Aaaaaaaah!
[goes to the bathroom, then he sees Mr. Burns' head grafted onto him in the mirror]
Mr. Burns : Perhaps you're wondering why you have two heads. Well my body was crushed, so I had my head grafted onto your, shall we say, ample frame.
Homer Simpson : [hyperventilating] I didn't wake up! It's all a dream! It's just a dream!
Mr. Burns : Oh that's right! It's all a dream! Or is it?
[laughs evilly]
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Dr. Marvin Monroe : You like attention, don't you Bart?
Bart Simpson : Do I ever!
Dr. Marvin Monroe : The problem is you don't care whether it's good attention for something like getting high marks in school or bad attention for something like say, turning your father into a Jack-in-the-Box. Homer I see you agree with my theory.
Homer Simpson : I'm not nodding, it's the air conditioning.
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Smithers : Attention Homer Simpson, attention Homer Simpson! Wake up, Homer.
[Homer wakes up]
Smithers : You're fired.
Homer Simpson : Fired, for what?
Smithers : You were sleeping on the job.
Homer Simpson : How did you know I was sleeping?
Smithers : We've been watching you through the surveillance camera.
Homer Simpson : Surveillance camera? D'oh!
