The Simpsons (TV Series)

Treehouse of Horror II (1991)

Harry Shearer: Montgomery Burns, Waylon Smithers, Ned Flanders, Kent Brockman, Principal Skinner, Otto, Kang, Jasper, Eddie, Dr. Marvin Monroe, Others

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mr. Burns : [Mr. Burns transplants Homer's brain into a robot]  Smithers, hand me that ice-cream scoop.

  Smithers : Ice-cream scoop?

  Mr. Burns : Dammit, Smithers! This isn't rocket science, it's brain surgery!

  [Mr. Burns removes Homer's brain, then puts it atop his own head] 

  Mr. Burns : Look at me, I'm Davy Crockett!

• [Homer yelps as Smithers and Mr. Burns drag him through a cemetary in a bag] 

  Smithers : Listen, sir! Did you hear that?

  Mr. Burns : [mockingly]  No I didn't! What was it? Frankenstein? The booger man?

  Smithers : It's the man in the bag, sir! I think he's alive.

  Mr. Burns : Oh.

  [beats Homer with shovel] 

  Mr. Burns : Bad corpse! Bad corpse! Stop... scaring... Smithers! Satisfied?

  Smithers : Thank you, sir.

• [Mr. Burns has put Homer's brain into a robot] 

  Mr. Burns : Oh, Smithers, I was wrong to play God. Life is precious, not a thing to be toyed with. Now take out that brain and flush it down the toilet!

• [last lines] 

  [Screen fades to black as creepy music plays, then the scene resumes with the normal Simpsons' music; looking like a canonical episode] 

  Narrator : Next week, on "The Simpsons".

  Lisa Simpson : Don't forget Dad, tonight my class is having an all-you-can-eat spaghetti dinner.

  Homer : Mmm... spaghetti.

  Mr. Burns : But Homer, tonight's our reception for Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands.

  Homer : DOH! I hate having two heads!

• Smithers : What corpse should we un-earth, sir?

  Mr. Burns : Ha ha, I don't know. I feel like a kid in the candy store.

• Mr. Burns : Behold! The greatest breakthrough in labor relations since the cat-o'-nine-tails!

• Smithers : Oh, in the mean time, sir, may I suggest a random firing; just to throw the fear of God into them.

• Mr. Burns : Little do they realize but their days of suckling at my teat are numbered.

• Homer Simpson : [Mr. Burns performs a lobotomy on Homer without anesthesia]  Ow. Ow! Ow!

  Mr. Burns : Oh, will you quit your complaining!

  Smithers : Si, do you know what this means? He is alive!

  Smithers : Oh, you're right, Smithers. I guess I owe you a Coke. And as for you, you clinking, clattering cacophany of colligenous cog and camshifts, take that! Agh!

  [Mr. Burns kicks the robot, which tips and looms over him] 

  Smithers : Run Sir!

  [the robot lands on Mr. Burns, crushing him save for his head] 

  Mr. Burns : Every bone shattered... organs leaking vital fluids... a slight headache... loss of appetite... Smithers, I'm going to die.

  Smithers : Sir, is there nothing I can do?

  Mr. Burns : Well, perhaps. Smithers, go to to my office. In the third drawer of my desk I... surgical tools and some either.

  Homer Simpson : Aaaaaaaah!

  [Homer wakes up] 

  Marge Simpson : Did you have a nightmare, Homie?

  Homer Simpson : No, Bart bit me.

  Bart Simpson : Hey, man, you were crushing me. I tried to scream, but my mouth was full of flab.

  Homer Simpson : Eh, I gotta go shake the doo-whoop-a-dilly. Aaaaaaaah!

  [goes to the bathroom, then he sees Mr. Burns' head grafted onto him in the mirror] 

  Mr. Burns : Perhaps you're wondering why you have two heads. Well my body was crushed, so I had my head grafted onto your, shall we say, ample frame.

  Homer Simpson : [hyperventilating]  I didn't wake up! It's all a dream! It's just a dream!

  Mr. Burns : Oh that's right! It's all a dream! Or is it?

  [laughs evilly] 

• Mr. Burns : Oh, that fellow at Radio Shack said I was mad! Well, who's mad now? Muwahahaha!

• Dr. Marvin Monroe : You like attention, don't you Bart?

  Bart Simpson : Do I ever!

  Dr. Marvin Monroe : The problem is you don't care whether it's good attention for something like getting high marks in school or bad attention for something like say, turning your father into a Jack-in-the-Box. Homer I see you agree with my theory.

  Homer Simpson : I'm not nodding, it's the air conditioning.

• Smithers : Attention Homer Simpson, attention Homer Simpson! Wake up, Homer.

  [Homer wakes up] 

  Smithers : You're fired.

  Homer Simpson : Fired, for what?

  Smithers : You were sleeping on the job.

  Homer Simpson : How did you know I was sleeping?

  Smithers : We've been watching you through the surveillance camera.

  Homer Simpson : Surveillance camera? D'oh!