Ron Sparks: The Judge

Quotes 

• Juror #1 : [discussing Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie]  Well for the record, I'm on Jen's side.

  The Honorable Ron Sparks : You heard it here, folks: Trevor Boris is in favour of genocide.

• The Honorable Ron Sparks : I sentence 50 Cent to get married, settle down, and start a family of nickles and dimes. HA! Small change joke!

• Juror #6 : [on 50 Cent]  He got shot nine times, which I believe is a world record.

  The Honorable Ron Sparks : Oh no, it's not.

  Juror #6 : It's not?

  The Honorable Ron Sparks : Show him, Rusty.

  Rusty Waters : [Rusty points at his wounds] 

  The Honorable Ron Sparks : Fifteen times in the face!

  Juror #6 : Oh. Well it's still more times than me, which automatically makes him a GANGSTA!

• Britney Spears : [stands accused] 

  The Honorable Ron Sparks : For having Kevin Federline's child, I sentence you to kill the child, then Kevin, then Shawn Desman, and then yourself.

• [Fraser discusses one of the accused, we hear scraping/dragging noises] 

  Juror #6 : ...and I'd like to point out that Ron moving his chair around like that is very distracting!

  [Ron and Rusty are loudly dragging his huge judge's chair across the courtroom floor] 

  The Honorable Ron Sparks : Oh, sorry! We should probably do this later.

• The Honorable Ron Sparks : Lindsay Lohan, I sentence you to never make a sequel to Herbie: Fully Loaded.

  The Honorable Ron Sparks : Unless you promise to stop singing. That would be a fair trade.

• The Honorable Ron Sparks : I hereby sentence myself to do a sexy dance for you all!

  [he does a sexy dance] 

• The Honorable Ron Sparks : I order you to take Kanye West shopping and help him pick out a pair of penny loafers!