- Ernie: [after finding out about Veronica's webcast] She gets $10 a month from every guy who subscribes.
- Angie Lopez: You PAID MONEY to peek at my niece?
- Ernie: I didn't know it was her! She had her back turned when she was brushing her hair.
- Angie Lopez: You PAID MONEY to watch a woman brush her hair?
- Ernie: Hey, I don't steal and I don't hurt people. This is my thing!
- Angie Lopez: [calls for Veronica] Get down her now, you ungrateful tramp!
- Carmen Lopez: [comes downstairs thinking her parents called her] What?
- George Lopez: We know what you did, we want to hear from your mouth.
- Carmen Lopez: Okay, well, I borrowed mom's car, but I didn't think you'd notice the scratch.
- George Lopez: Go to your room until we figure out what to do with you.
- [to Angie]
- George Lopez: That was lucky, we should do this once a week.
- Benny: You know, if you were going to give me millions of dollars, I'd give you anything you want, too.
- George Lopez: Mom, I've seen guys get you to do things for ten dollars and a tall boy!
- Angie Lopez: [about Veronica] That's it, that was the last straw. I can't take it anymore. I want her out of this house.
- Carmen Lopez: [comes downstairs again, thinking Angie's talking about her] God, it was just a scratch. I'll pay for it. What do you want from me?
- [runs up the stairs]
- George Lopez: [Angie moves to follow her] Let it go.
- Benny: [to Veronica after she dresses up in a hot outfit at work] Uh oh, if that's what you're wearing today, what're you gonna wear for casual Friday, 2 Post-Its and a sugar packet?
- Benny: Tomorrow, I want you to dress more appropriate. I don't want you distracting the guys working with dangerous machines. Alberto's down to 7 fingers, he can barely tie his shoes.