- Cliff forces the entire family to hold a funeral for Rudy's dead goldfish Lamont.
- Cliff comes home from a long day at the hospital. He lies comfortably down on the living room couch for a nap but is soon wakened by Vanessa. She tells him there may be an emergency with her younger sister Rudy but is unable to convey just how serious the situation is. She tells her father that Rudy's goldfish, Lamont, is dead. At first Cliff merely says "I'm sorry" but Vanessa convinces him to go upstairs with her and talk to Rudy, whom doesn't understand that her fish is dead.
When they arrive, Rudy is blissfully sprinkling food into Lamont's bowl. Cliff investigates, first shaking the bowl slightly, poking the body with his finger and then flipping it in is hand. He sits down with Rudy and, with some "help" from Vanessa, tells her that Lamont is dead. Theo has also joined the conversation but is mildly admonished by his father when he insensitively confirms the news. Cliff tries to soften the blow for Rudy by suggesting she remember how much fun Lamont was. After Rudy and Theo go downstairs for dinner, Vanessa suggests that Cliff make her a special dinner to cheer her up.
At dinner, Rudy, now feeling the loss of her pet, doesn't want to eat. Claire tries to tell Rudy about the loophole she was able to crack in a legal case at her law firm but Rudy doesn't want to hear about it. Claire takes Rudy out of the kitchen to console her. Cliff seems slightly appalled at the lack of empathy from Theo, Denise & Vanessa. Denise tells him that it's just a dead fish and Theo jokingly says they should have a funeral. Cliff hits on the idea and takes things a few steps further, picking up the phone when Theo suggests they have their local reverend deliver a eulogy. The kids try to stop him and Cliff blackmails them all into attending the funeral on Saturday morning. He also coerces them into wearing black and doing whatever he orders. With the reverend still on the phone, Cliff covers up by asking if Christmas will still be at the same time that year. After he hangs up, he sticks his tongue out at his kids.
Later, in their bedroom, Cliff picks out one of Claire's dresses, a fancy dark blue one that's the closest she has to a black one. Having been rebuffed by most of the family about her great day at work, she refuses to tell Cliff about it at first but finally does when Cliff promises to give her his undivided attention. She begins to tell him but his pager goes off. He shuts off the alarm a couple of times but when a long beep is heard, he finally calls. One of his patients is on her way to the hospital. He then listens to Claire's story, which turns out to be rather pathetic.
On Saturday morning, Cliff calls everyone to the family bathroom, where the funeral will be held. The kids assemble: Claire is wearing her fancy dress, Vanessa wears a black leotard, Denise is in frumpy clothes she dressed in to meet up with friends, Theo is in a sharp blazer and Rudy is wearing a little sailor's dress, Lamont's favorite since it is nautically-themed. Theo brings Cliff the fish on his little net and they all gather around the toilet. Cliff begins to eulogize about Lamont with Vanessa kicking in a few unintentionally silly remarks. Rudy suddenly says she wants to watch television. Denise hears a car horn and leaves, saying her ride has arrived. Cliff is again appalled at the lack of sensitivity and starts yelling. Barely able to keep from laughing, Claire tries to calm him down, saying that the spectacle he's created is mostly ridiculous. She also reminds him that he never went to the hospital to check on his patient. When he goes to check his watch, the net holding Lamont tips and he falls into the toilet bowl. Cliff flushes the toilet. Moments later, Rudy reappears. Cliff asks if she wants to mourn a bit and she bashfully tells him she needs to use the bathroom. Smiling widely, she closes the door after her parents leave.
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