Desperate Housewives (TV Series)

Don't Look at Me (2006)

Marcia Cross: Bree Van De Kamp

Photos 

Quotes 

• Andrew Van De Kamp : Well, could you live with a woman who hits you?

  Eleanor Mason : Bree!

  Bree : Oh, I slapped him once and he deserved it!

  Andrew Van De Kamp : I just asked her to stop drinking.

  Henry Mason : You were drinking?

  Eleanor Mason : She's in A.A. Her sponsor has long hair.

  Bree : Andrew, I find your concern ironic given how tanked you were when you ran over our neighbor's mother with your car!

  Eleanor Mason : Is she okay?

  Bree : She's dead!

  Andrew Van De Kamp : Well, mom watched as her boyfriend committed suicide. And he was the same guy who killed dad!

  Bree : Andrew falsely accused me of molestation... in a mall!

• [Bree has brought down a box of Andrew's porn] 

  Bree Van De Kamp : Oh, dad, I-I forgot to warn you. These are some of Andrew's adult videos. I don't approve, but boys will be boys.

  [Henry files through the box of porn] 

  Eleanor Mason : Oh, Henry, stop looking at that filth.

  Henry Mason : I don't get it. Where are the women?

  Eleanor Mason : What are you talking about?

  Henry Mason : This is all just a bunch of... naked men.

  [Eleanor takes the magazine from Henry] 

  Eleanor Mason : Sweet mother of God. What the hell are they doing?

  Henry Mason : I don't know, and I don't know what I'm even looking at.

  Eleanor Mason : Henry, this is pornography for ho-homosexuals.

  [Bree enters] 

  Bree Van De Kamp : Oh, shoot! I wish you hadn't gone through that. Now we have to have an unpleasant conversation, and we were having such a nice time.

  Henry Mason : Bree, is... is Andrew... gay?

  Bree Van De Kamp : Oh, dad, Andrew hates labels. I'm sure it's just a phase.

  Eleanor Mason : Excuse me, but he has a magazine titled "Leather Daddies in Love." That does not sound like a phase to me.