Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)
Bride of the Monster (1993)
Trace Beaulieu: Crow T. Robot, Dr. Clayton Forrester
Quotes
-
[upon seeing the title of the short 'Hired']
Joel : Hey, isn't that the John Belushi biography?
Crow T. Robot : That's not something you heard much during the Bush administration.
Tom Servo : The sequel is 'Hired 2: Laid Off.'
-
Capt. Robbins : Well, there's one nice thing about birds: They never cause anyone any trouble!
Crow T. Robot : Yeah, tell that to Tippi Hedren!
-
Capt. Robbins : You men surround the house!
Crow T. Robot : All two of you!
-
Crow T. Robot : Nobody's kissin' the bird today!
-
Crow T. Robot : [describing Tillie] It's Wilhemina Demerest.
-
[upon seeing the title "Bride of the Monster"]
Crow T. Robot : I wonder where she's registered.
-
[watching two guys running around lost in the rain]
Crow T. Robot : Hey, where the hell do we live again, Steve?
-
[One of the hunters from the beginning of the movie is shooting at the unseen octopus strangling the other hunter]
Crow T. Robot : [as Hunter #1] Embrace death, Roy!
-
[the short's title screen appears: "Chevrolet presents: HIRED!"]
Crow T. Robot : [referring to George H.W. Bush] Well, that's something you didn't hear much during the Bush administration.
-
[after speaking with Jimmy, Mr. Warren prepares some paperwork with concern]
Tom Servo : [as Warren] Hmm. I didn't know he had a prison record. Says here he's wanted in Idaho.
Joel Robinson : [as Warren] Hmm? What in the *world*? "Assault with a deadly weapon"?
Crow T. Robot : [as Warren] A.K.A., the "Pantsless Salesman"? Or the "Piddling Peddler"?
-
[after being tied up and turned into an "atomic superman", Dr. Vornoff breaks out of the leather straps that bind him to the table]
Crow T. Robot : Oh no, now he has the strength of twenty heroin addicts!
-
[last lines; Dr. Vornoff and his octopus monster go up in a nuclear blast. The good guys look on in horror and dismay]
Capt. Robbins : [solemnly] He tampered in God's domain.
Crow T. Robot : Oh great, the nutty birdman from Apartment 4B is gonna give us a religious insight!
-
[Lobo sabotages Vornoff's machine while he is strapped down]
Vornoff : No! No!
Crow T. Robot : That's the waffle iron, you idiot!
-
[Joel, Tom, Crow, and Gypsy sing "Hired! The Musical"]
Tom Servo , Crow T. Robot , Gypsy : [in a whisper] He's hired. He's hired. He's hired. He's hired.
Joel Robinson : I'm hired
Tom Servo , Crow T. Robot , Gypsy : He's hired
Joel Robinson : I hope I don't get fired.
Tom Servo , Crow T. Robot , Gypsy : He's hired
Joel Robinson : In forty years I'll be retired. But for now, I'm simply hired.
Tom Servo , Crow T. Robot , Gypsy : He's hired. He's hired. He's hired. He's hired.
Joel Robinson : I got a job today.
Tom Servo , Crow T. Robot , Gypsy : He's hired.
Joel Robinson : I'm selling Chevrolets.
Tom Servo , Crow T. Robot , Gypsy : He's hired.
Joel Robinson : I'm bringing home good pay.
Tom Servo , Crow T. Robot , Gypsy : He's hired.
Joel Robinson : I just got hired
Tom Servo , Crow T. Robot , Gypsy : He's hired. He's hired. He's hired. He's hired. He got a job today.
Joel Robinson : Yeah, me!
Tom Servo , Crow T. Robot , Gypsy : He's selling Chevrolets.
Joel Robinson : We're gonna get awnings.
Tom Servo , Crow T. Robot , Gypsy : He's bringing home good pay.
Joel Robinson : Maybe even dessert.
[at same time with bots next line]
Joel Robinson : I just got hired.
Tom Servo , Crow T. Robot , Gypsy : He just got hired.
-
Joel Robinson : [singing] I was wondering if you'd like to see my...
Gypsy : No!
Joel Robinson : [singing] But I really think you should see my...
Crow T. Robot : No!
Joel Robinson : [singing] It's got a lovely...
Gypsy : No!
Joel Robinson : [singing] And if only you would...
Crow T. Robot : No!
Tom Servo , Crow T. Robot , Gypsy : Can't you see we're trying to tell you no!
