Xiaolin Showdown (TV Series)
In the Flesh (2004)
Wayne Knight: Dojo Kanojo Cho
Quotes
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Wuya : I'm sensing a Shen Gong Wu! We could begin our partnership right now. What do you say, Raimundo?
Raimundo : I--I gotta go. Golden Tiger Claws!
Master Fung : Ah, here it is. The Reversing...
Raimundo : What is it? What's the Shen Gong Wu?
Dojo Kanojo Cho : Where have you been, young man? I've worried sick, and whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second. how'd you know there was an active Shen Gong Wu?
Raimundo : Uh... well, you know, tiger instincts and all that. So, what is it?
Master Fung : The Reversing Mirror. It reverses the effects of any Shen Gong Wu. For example, the Two Ton Tunic, would become light as a feather.
Kimiko Tohomiko : Whoa!
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Omi : Ooh, that is as Kimiko might say, "heavy... or not!"
Dojo Kanojo Cho : Jokes aren't going to get Shen Gong Wu, people. Saddle up.
Jack Spicer : What's the matter, Wuya? Need a hand? Ha ha ha. It's too bad yours are all ghosty.
Wuya : The Reversing's mine! I found it first!
Jack Spicer : Hey, you know what they say, finders keepers, losers weepers.
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Raimundo : Spicer, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown.
Dojo Kanojo Cho : What's the matter, Wuya? Got no one to root for?
Wuya : Beat it, pest.
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Jack Spicer : Sorry, pal. You're not going anywhere! Ahh! Whaa-aa-oh! Ahh! Swell.
Raimundo : Uhh!
Kimiko Tohomiko : All right, Raimundo!
Clay Bailey : Well done, pardner!
Dojo Kanojo Cho : That's what I'm talking about!
Omi : Raimundo, your performance in the showdown was most impressive, and you are not even a Xiaolin Apprentice.
Raimundo : You're right, Omi. I'm not. So, where do you want 'em?
Omi : Huh?
Kimiko Tohomiko : What?
Clay Bailey : Pardon me?
Jack Spicer : Hey!
Dojo Kanojo Cho : Oh, boy.
Wuya : Ha ha ha ha! Well done, Raimundo.
Kimiko Tohomiko : Rai, what are you doing?
Raimundo : I'm done with this whole Xiaolin thing. From now on, you can find me on the Heylin side. Golden Tiger Claws!
Wuya : So long, Xiaolin Warriors.
Jack Spicer : Bet you guys didn't see that coming. Ha ha ha ha ha!
Wuya : Yes! Yes! This is the perfect spot from which to plan our conquest of the world!
Raimundo : Um, I thought we were gonna do this in style? Video games, cold soda, hot pizza, lap of luxury? Any of that ringing a bell?
Wuya : Patience, dear Raimundo. All that and more will be yours soon. The Reversing Mirror is the key to our victory. But to use it to its fullest effect, I need you to return to the Xiaolin Temple one last time.
Raimundo : No way! Forget it! I'm done with this Xiaolin mook lifestyle! Find yourself another chump!
Wuya : Did I mention your professional soccer team?
Raimundo : Soccer team?
Wuya : Yes. Ever wondered what it would be like to drink out of the World Cup?
Raimundo : Okay, so what do I do?
Wuya : Ha ha ha ha ha!
Omi : Uhh! Uhh... huh! Uhh! Uhh... uhh!
Kimiko Tohomiko : Let me guess. There's some imperceptible form fault in your form that only you could possibly notice.
Omi : Oh, no, Kimiko. My form is without flaws, naturally.
Kimiko Tohomiko : Naturally.
Omi : But still I am dumped in the downs. Even training cannot lift my gloomy spirits.
Kimiko Tohomiko : I know how you feel, Omi.
Clay Bailey : Yeah. sitting on my spurs wouldn't hurt as much as this.
Kimiko Tohomiko : I can't believe Rai has gone bad just because he didn't get promoted to Xiaolin Apprentice.
Omi : Maybe that's because Raimundo hasn't gone bad.
Clay Bailey : You care to connect those dots for me?
Omi : Maybe Raimundo is enacting some secret and elaborate plan designed to... uhh lure evil into a false sense of confidence? Yes! That is clearly what Raimundo is doing!
Kimiko Tohomiko : Omi, that makes no sense... at all.
Clay Bailey : Not even a little.
Kimiko Tohomiko : The Shen Gong Wu Vault?
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Kimiko Tohomiko : This is bad. Very, very bad.
Omi : If I had hair, it would be standing on end.
Dojo Kanojo Cho : If I had boots, I'd be quaking in them.
Clay Bailey : Wanna borrow mine?
Dojo Kanojo Cho : No thanks. No feet.
Omi : Wuya?
Wuya : In the Flesh.
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Clay Bailey : Someone's opening it!
Omi : Raimundo, you have returned! See? Secret, elaborate plan. What are you doing with the Serpent's Tail, my clever friend?
Raimundo : Uh, stealing it.
Omi : Oh, so it would appear. Secret, elaborate plan.
Kimiko Tohomiko : Omi, there's no plan. He's stealing our Shen Gong Wu
Clay Bailey : Not on my watch! Ahh! Earth!
Kimiko Tohomiko : Fire!
Raimundo : So, that's the way it's gonna be, huh?
Kimiko Tohomiko : You tell us, Raimundo.
Clay Bailey : You can always drop the Shen Gong Wu and leave.
Raimundo : Nah, I'm up for a Xiaolin Slapdown. Aah! Wind!
Omi : I am severely confused. This plan seems more elaborate than necessary.
Raimundo : Ahh!
Omi : Raimundo?
Raimundo : Ahh! Wind!
Kimiko Tohomiko : Ahh! Omi, stop him!
Omi : Raimundo, I am starting to think you are not enacting some sort of secret, elaborate plan.
Raimundo : Nothing escapes you, Omi.
Omi : Not even you.
Raimundo : Wrong. Serpent's Tail!
Omi : Ahh!
Clay Bailey : Ahh!
Kimiko Tohomiko : Did he escape?
Omi : Raimundo really has betrayed us.
Master Fung : Raimundo stole our Shen Gong Wu? This is most troubling.
Dojo Kanojo Cho : If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, put a padlock on this thing!
Clay Bailey : There's a bright side. He only rustled up one-- the Serpent's Tail.
Omi : Why would Raimundo take just one Shen Gong Wu?
Master Fung : Because that one Shen Gong Wu is all Wuya needs.
Kimiko Tohomiko : Is the Serpent's Tail really all that?
Dojo Kanojo Cho : You got that ominous going on. Care to spill the beans?
Master Fung : On its own the Serpent's Tail is no great threat, it makes a solid person ghostly.
Dojo Kanojo Cho : But combined with Reversing Mirror...
Omi : It would turn a ghostly person solid.
Clay Bailey : Wuya!
Kimiko Tohomiko : Wuya!
Master Fung : Percisely.
Raimundo : Ha! Special delivery.
Wuya : The Serpent's Tail. Excellent! I'll soon be flesh again.
Kimiko Tohomiko : Anything, Dojo?