South Park (TV Series)

Cartoon Wars: Part 1 (2006)

Matt Stone: Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick, Jimbo Kern, Gerald Broflovski, Professor Thomas, George Bush

Quotes 

• Eric Cartman : How would you feel, Kyle, if there was a cartoon on television that made fun of Jews all the time?

  Kyle Broflovski : Uh...

• Kyle : [after learning of Cartman's plan to destroy Family Guy]  You unbelievable son of a bitch!

• Professor Thomas : We bury our heads in sand. We take 20 to 25 dump trucks, fill them with sand from Monarch lake, and then dump the sand along South Park Avenue. By using approximately 18 dozen shovels, we can each dig a hole in the sand, stick our heads in the holes, and then have the person to our left bury them. If we can manage to get every person's head buried deep, deep in sand before the Mohammad episode airs, we could avoid looking like we're responsible for any part of this at all.

  Chris Stotch : No, no, wait a minute, that's ridiculous. What we need to do is just the opposite. Freedom of speech is at stake here, don't you all see? If anything, we should all make cartoons of Muhammad, and show the terrorists and the extremists that we are all united in the belief that every person has a right to say what they want! Look, people, it's been real easy for us to stand up for free speech lately. For the past few decades we haven't had to risk anything to defend it. But those times are going to come! And one of those times is right now. And if we aren't willing to risk what we have, then we just believe in free speech, but we don't defend it!

  Randy Marsh : I like the sand idea.

  Mr. Mackey : Yeah, me too.

  Gerald Broflovski : Yeah, the sand thing sounds a lot simpler.

• Mrs. Garrison : Welcome to Muslim-Sensitivity Training. It is important for us to understand why the Muslim feel the way they do, and why we can never show an image of Mohammad.

  Kyle Broflovski : No. *Muslims* can't show an image of Mohammad.