- Reginald 'Red' Forman: But, all I know is, when life finally gives you a break from the crapstorm, the best thing that you can do is crack open a beer with a friend.
- Jackie Burkhart: Look, just because Fez matched up with a few things on my list, it doesn't mean we were meant for each other - it's like I'm Beauty and he's the Beast!
- Donna Pinciotti: Jackie, do you realize who fits every single thing on your list?
- Jackie Burkhart: Yes - Elton John! And I think he's single, because you never see him out with a girl!