- [first lines]
- Bully Koopa: Real world prison straight ahead, King Dad!
- King Bowser Koopa: Prison, the only place in the real world with our kind of people.
- Luigi: We've been snookered.
- [Crime Wave Clyde and Big Mouth appears]
- Crime Wave Clyde: Right you are, super suckers.
- Big Mouth Koopa: It's curtains for you creeps! You're history, you've had it, you're done for, it's all over, we win, time's up, your clock is cleaned!
- [Mario and Luigi plug up their ears as Big Mouth continues]
- Big Mouth Koopa: The sun has set, the fat lady has sung, the cheese has molded, the Super Mario Bros. are no more!
- Crime Wave Clyde: Enough already!
- Kootie Pie Koopa: [after Big Mouth takes her stolen loot] Big Mouth, that's mine! I stole it all personally!
- Crime Wave Clyde: [gives a Bob-omb to Kooky] Don't light this until I say go.
- Kooky von Koopa: Got it, Crime Wave Clyde.
- [Kooky lights the fuse to the Bob-omb and handcuffs it to Clyde's leg]
- Crime Wave Clyde: What's goin' on here? Wh-What are you doin'?
- Cheatsy Koopa: Just following orders.
- Crime Wave Clyde: I didn't tell you to do that!
- Kootie Pie Koopa: No, but King Daddy did.
- Cheatsy Koopa: Dad never planned on giving you half of anything! We're double-crossing you!
- Luigi: Hey, well, thanks for the help, Clyde, but, I've never seen anyone so happy to be back behind bars.
- [chuckles]
- Crime Wave Clyde: 12,423 years and no parole is a lot better than one more day with those Koopas.
- Mario: Heh Heh! He's just lucky he didn't have to face the Koopa Kids on a bad day, huh, Luigi?
- Big Mouth Koopa: Hey, lady! Gimme your purse! I'm a real bad robber Koopa! I'm also a baaaaaad dancer!
- Bully Koopa: That's 522 wallets, 391 purses, 912 gold coins, and a yo-yo!
- Big Mouth Koopa: Stick 'em up! This Ptooie plant is loaded!
- Crime Wave Clyde: No! No! No! You're not supposed to rob each other! Do I have to go over this again?
- Crime Wave Clyde: Hey! Cut it out! Give that back! Right now! You guys are driving me crazy!
- Crime Wave Clyde: [Thud]
- King Bowser Koopa: Wonderful! Wonderful! Quick little learners, aren't they? Makes their dad proud!
- Crime Wave Clyde: These brats are givin' me a headache!
- King Bowser Koopa: I think it's time for the grand finale! The big finish! The crime of the Mushroom Century!
- Bully Koopa: Are we gonna rob the ruins of the Mushroom pharaohs?
- King Bowser Koopa: [Shakes Head]
- Cheatsy Koopa: Pilfer the pyramids in the Koopahari Desert?
- King Bowser Koopa: [Shakes Head]
- Kootie Pie Koopa: I know, make that yucky Princess Toadstool disappear!
- King Bowser Koopa: [Shakes head]
- King Bowser Koopa: No my little thievelings! You're gonna steal a billion gold coins from the Mushroom Kingdom Treasury!
- Bully Koopa, Big Mouth Koopa, Kooky von Koopa, Cheatsy Koopa, Kootie Pie Koopa, Hip Koopa, Hop Koopa: [Cheering]
- Crime Wave Clyde: Well I guess a billion gold coins might make my headache go away!