American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (2006 Video)

Steve Talley: Dwight Stifler

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dwight Stifler : Nobody starts this Naked Mile without me!

• Dwight Stifler : So, are you ladies ready to run this Naked Mile and get extra fuckin' sexy?

  Jill : Hell yeah!

  Dwight Stifler : What about you guys?

  Brandy : Yeah, what are you guys doing still dressed?

  Erik Stifler : Well, we figured we would just watch the mile then meet you guys at the party afterwards.

  Alexis : Well, that's too bad because this Naked Mile is going to be crazy!

  Jill : Really crazy! Right Brandy?

  Brandy : Absolutely out of control!

  Brandy : [Brandy, Jill, and Alexis take off all of their clothes, then Erik, Cooze, and Ryan take off all of their clothes] 

• Dwight Stifler : That's what I'm talking about! Let those cocks free!

• Bull : Stifler! We got a serious problem, man. Mike and the guys just got arrested trying to steal a monkey from the zoo.

  Dwight Stifler : So what's the problem? Just take the money from my bail fund.

  Bull : They're almost half of our football team. We gotta put a team on the field, man, or we are done.

  Erik Stifler : Why?

  Bull : Cause we are already on probation. We got to participate in every intermural event or we are kicked off campus, man. We are four guys short.

  Ryan : I play football.

  Cooze : I played freshman year.

  Bull : What about you?

  Erik Stifler : A little nerf here and there.

  Bull : Good enough.

  Bull : Stifler?

  Dwight Stifler : Mmm?

  Bull : Can you play?

  Dwight Stifler : Don't ever ask if Stifler can play!

• Dwight Stifler : What a douchebag!

• Dwight Stifler : How you feeling that strech? A little dizzy? Cause guess what? Stifler can drink this shit ALL day long.

  [takes a shot] 

  Drinking Contestant : [security guard comes in and puts $200 bet on Stifler] 

  [takes a shot] 

  Drinking Contestant : yeaaahhh!

  Dwight Stifler : [takes his shot]  You got steel nuts my man, I'll give you that, but you no match for the stif-man.

  [burps in the contestants face and he pukes] 

• Dwight Stifler : Hey, cousin. How are you?

  Erik Stifler : I'm fine, Dwight. Are you ok?

  Dwight Stifler : Yeah, I'm great. Hey, I heard you killed Grandma with your cumshot.

  [Ryan and Cooze chuckling] 

  Dwight Stifler : That sucks, man.

• Dwight Stifler : [1:06:33]  All right bitch tits. I got a little surprise for you fuckers! Just a little pharmaceutical delight for later.

• Dwight Stifler : I'm adrift in a sea of boobies and my balls are scraping on the pavement!

• Dwight Stifler : [1:00:54]  What is this? Enter the Midget?

• Rock : [41;23]  How are you feelin', Stifler?

  Dwight Stifler : Beyond six months, Frodo, how about you?

• Ryan : [46:10]  I can't believe we lost to midgets.

  Dwight Stifler : Don't let those oompa-loompa bastards get to you. Right now we have more important matters to tend to, gentlemen!

• Dwight Stifler : [1:04:05]  Did you really think that little beating you gave me could keep me away? You and the lollipop guild punch like a bunch of five year olds. This is MY fuckin' school!

• Dwight Stifler : [38:10]  Better get back to Oz before you get your ass stomped, Toto.

  Rock : Toto was the dog, you fucking idiot!