It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)
Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare (2006)
Keith Bullard: Drug dealer
Quotes
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Crack Dealer : Whatchu need?
Dennis Reynolds : Uh, one please.
Crack Dealer : One what?
Dennis Reynolds : Uh, one... rock of crack... A crack rock. Is that enough? Is one crack rock enough?
Dee Reynolds : Um, how much would you recommend for a first time user?
Crack Dealer : Tell you what, I'll make you a deal. Two for the price of one.
Dee Reynolds : Really? Oh, that's very nice of you.
Dennis Reynolds : Oh, that sounds good. How much?
Crack Dealer : 200 dollars?
Dennis Reynolds : Sounds reasonable, great. Okay.
[slides money through window]
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Dennis Reynolds : [going to buy crack to get on welfare] Okay, we'll smoke a little bit. Just enough to get it into our system.
Dee Reynolds : Yeah, and then we'll go to the doctor and we'll get all of our paperwork and we'll get full benefits.
Dennis Reynolds : Yeah, and then we'll just collect for just a little while, until we get settled. And then, uh, I'll take the MCATs.
Dee Reynolds : And I'll move to New York. Perfect.
[notices crack dealer outside car]
Dee Reynolds : Ahh!
Dennis Reynolds : Ohh! My God! Whew.
Dee Reynolds : Jesus!
Dennis Reynolds : Wow, you scared us. Oh, not 'cause you're black. No, no, no, we're not racist.
Dee Reynolds : No, no, God no.
Dennis Reynolds : No, it's just that the neighborhood is scary...
Dee Reynolds : If you were another ethnicity you'd pop, you'd really pop up.
Dennis Reynolds : But it's a nice neighborhood, I mean, it's okay... It's the nature of this...
Crack Dealer : Roll your window down.