Gears of War (2006 Video Game)

Fred Tatasciore: Damon Baird, Locust Drone B, Victim #2 Stranded, Berserker

Quotes 

• Marcus Fenix : Baird, what's the status on that APC?

  Damon Baird : [over radio]  The status is that it sucks.

• Marcus Fenix : Control, could you give us Delta Two's location?

  Anya : [over radio]  GID readings are faint. Looks like... the sewer system?

  Damon Baird : [over radio]  There's shit everywhere!

  Augustus Cole : [over radio]  C'mon, Baird! A little bit of this is good for you! Builds your immune system.

  Damon Baird : [over radio]  Yeah, it also builds disease. Delta Two out.

  Dominic Santiago : ...No way.

  Marcus Fenix : Sucks to be them.

• Marcus Fenix : Cole, what's you're status?

  Augustus Cole : Shit yeah, baby we got the hook-up! They given us a big-ass dinner!

  Damon Baird : We are gonna get dysentery from this shit.

  Augustus Cole : Baird's havin a hard time adjustin, you know.

  Marcus Fenix : Tell Baird to shut up and eat, we'll be back soon.

  Augustus Cole : Copy that, Cole out.

• Augustus Cole : Who loves ya, baby?

  Damon Baird : Yeah yeah yeah group hug... Where's Rojas?

  Augustus Cole : [shakes head] 

• Marcus Fenix : Baird, what's up?

  Damon Baird : [through the comm. system]  Oh, it's bullshit. Somebody figured out that Cole use to play Thrashball, and now it's all:

  Damon Baird : [feminine voice]  "Oh, Cole Train! Tell us about that play again!"

  Damon Baird : - and...

  Damon Baird : [feminine voice]  "Number 83, sign my shirt!"

• Damon Baird : Corpser!

  Marcus Fenix : It's pulling back.

  Damon Baird : Yah, it's gonna wait. Save us for later.

  [ominously] 

  Damon Baird : Like a snack.

  Marcus Fenix : Bullshit.

  Damon Baird : You think I'm kidding?

  Marcus Fenix : I think you're bat-shit crazy. That's what I think.

  Augustus Cole : Aww, ain't that cute.

  Dominic Santiago : Like two assholes on their first date.

  Augustus Cole : [laughs] 

• Dominic Santiago : [hearing odd sound]  Did you hear that? What the hell's that sound?

  Marcus Fenix : It's just the wind.

  Dominic Santiago : Yeah. Right. When was the last time the wind said "hostiles" to you?

  Dominic Santiago : [noticing odd Locust soldier]  Uhh... Those aren't drones.

  Marcus Fenix : Shit... Looks like they upgraded.

  Damon Baird : [on radio]  They're called Theron Guards.

  Dominic Santiago : You think they know what we're doing?

  Marcus Fenix : Well, we're not here to sell cookies... So they know something's up.

• Kim : Alpha, this is Delta, we have visual on your position.

  Damon Baird : We'd like to have your ammo on our position right now!

  Kim : Roger that, sit tight.

• Damon Baird : Hi boys!

  Marcus Fenix : [looks down to see Cole and Baird in the sewers]  I could smell you guys from a mile away.

  Damon Baird : Hey, why don't you come down here and join us? There's room for one more! It's a fucking party down here!

• Damon Baird : What, there's Stranded here?

  Dominic Santiago : Yep, there's a camp just ahead.

  Damon Baird : So what, you, like, hang out with Stranded?

  Dominic Santiago : I don't "hang out" with them, dickwad. I'm looking for somebody.

  Marcus Fenix : Baird - shut up. Keep moving.

  Damon Baird : What? What did I say? I'm... I'm sure there's... there's some nice... Stranded...

• Damon Baird : [Cole and Baird arrive just as Marcus and Dom manage to kill a Corsper]  Ah, just in time!

  Dominic Santiago : Just in time to kiss my ass...

• Damon Baird : Dammit, they won't stop coming!

  Augustus Cole : Aw, you know you love it!

  Damon Baird : No, actually I *don't!*

• Damon Baird : [Baird and Cole get split up from the other two, having failed to jump on a passing train]  Dammit, we suck!

• Damon Baird : [if left downed for a long period of time]  Aw come on, I wouldn't do this to you!... Okay, maybe I would.

• Victor Hoffman : Bad news, Fenix: it didn't work.

  Marcus Fenix : What do you mean, "it didn't work"?

  Victor Hoffman : I mean, that lousy resonator didn't deliver the goods! We're missing data on - hell, I don't know - most of the tunnel network! We'd need a hundred resonators to map all of the tunnels!

  Marcus Fenix : This is bullshit!

  Damon Baird : [holding up a geobot]  So what? We'll just use this instead.

  Dominic Santiago : How 'bout I use it to smash your teeth in?

• Marcus Fenix : Cole. Baird. We're in.

  Damon Baird : Well it's about time, we've been here for *at least* two minutes.

  Marcus Fenix : [sarcastically]  Well good for you smart ass.

• Damon Baird : Kicked. Their. Asses.

  Marcus Fenix : It's not over Baird, you better reload.

  Damon Baird : Huh, why?

  Marcus Fenix : [More Locust emerge ahead and a Troika gunner opens fire]  *That's* why.

• Damon Baird : [about Boomers]  Damn. These guys are almost as big as you, Cole.