It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)

Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass (2006)

Charlie Day: Charlie Kelly

Quotes 

• Charlie Kelly : [Charlie's America Song]  I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna kick a little ass, Gonna kick some ass in the USA, Gonna climb a mountain, Gonna sew a flag, Gonna fly on an Eagle, I'm gonna kick some butt, I'm gonna drive a big truck, I'm gonna rule this world, Gonna kick some ass, Gonna rise up, Kick a little ass, ROCK, FLAG AND EAGLE!

• Charlie Kelly : Hey Ry, how you feeling? Hey, look man, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but if your not too busy showering in your brother's urine or plotting your revenge against me, would you mind lighting my cigarette?

  [Charlie laughs] 

  Charlie Kelly : Thanks, bro! Hey Liam, I'm sorry I sent you to jail, man. But any time you want to stab me would be great for me!

  [Liam stabs him with a fork] 

  Charlie Kelly : Ahhh! Ohh!

  Liam McPoyle : That's what you get, Charlie! You get fork stabbed!

• Dennis Reynolds : If you don't like smoke, then don't come into the bar.

  Charlie Kelly : I *work* in this bar. I work here.

  Dennis Reynolds : But that's because you have the freedom to choose to work here, okay? Smoking bans, they don't protect freedom, they strip it away from smokers

  Frank Reynolds : Look, I didn't go to Vietnam just to have pansies like you take my freedom away from me.

  Dee Reynolds : You went to Vietnam in *1993* to open up a sweatshop!

  Frank Reynolds : And a lot of good men died in that sweatshop.

• Dennis Reynolds : If Charlie took any time to study in school, he would recognize that the Constitution protects my freedom to blow smoke all over his face.

  Charlie Kelly : You gotta be... you don't know shit about the Constitution, man.

  Mac : Uh, he knows more than you two un-American freedom haters.

  Dennis Reynolds : Thank you.

  Dee Reynolds : Oh, Charlie, we hate freedom. Eww, we hate it.

  Dennis Reynolds : You hate it.

  Charlie Kelly : Oh, *I'm* un-American?

  Frank Reynolds : You're practically a Viet Cong.

• Charlie Kelly : You know what? Let me kick down a little thing to you that our Founding Fathers kicked down to me. It goes, "Don't. Tread. On me," and right now, you guys are TREADING ALL OVER ME.

• Charlie Kelly : I'm a patriot. You've gotta give me that.

• Charlie Kelly : Okay, I just killed three very large rats that were stuck in glue traps.

  Dennis Reynolds : Good work.

  Charlie Kelly : No. No, no, that's not good work. I am done with rat detail. That's by far the worst job in the bar.

  Dennis Reynolds : That's why we call it Charlie Work.

• Charlie Kelly : You wanna talk America? You wanna learn a little something about America? Dee, let's roll out of here.

  Dee Reynolds : Where are we going?

  Charlie Kelly : We're gonna go America all over their asses!

• Charlie Kelly : Attica!