Family Guy (TV Series)
Hell Comes to Quahog (2006)
Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Tom Tucker, Yogi Bear, Teenager, Ghost Whisperer Actor, Driver, Sloth, Bill Pullman, Tim, Toilet
Photos
Quotes
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Man : Dude, this car kicks ass, and I can watch Madagascar while I'm driving.
Alex the Lion : What kind of music do you like, Gloria?
Gloria the Hippo : Hippo-hop. WOOHOO! Yeah, baby!
Man : Dude, those animals are so fucking funny they make me wanna merge without looking!
[merges and causes a fiery pile-up behind him]
Man : Yeah, Rumsfeld!
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Stewie Griffin : [there is a heat wave in Quahog] Brian, spit on me.
Brian Griffin : [spits on Stewie]
Stewie Griffin : Yes, now tell me I'm scum.
Brian Griffin : [pause] How's that going to help cool you off?
Stewie Griffin : Huh?
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Joe Swanson : [checking his mail] Oh, great. It's here. That mirror I bought on eBay.
[unwrapping and holding the mirror up, he sees Peter's tank behind him]
Joe Swanson : OH, MY GOD!
[rolling away as fast as he can]
Joe Swanson : AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! AHHH!
[he bails from his chair, and the tank runs over his legs]
Peter Griffin : Joe, my god. What happened?
Joe Swanson : You just ran over me, you bastard! I don't know where you got that thing, but I'm impounding it!
Peter Griffin : [giggling] Look at you. You look like a half-empty toothpaste.
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Peter Griffin : Who's sober enough to drive?
Peter Griffin : OK, who's drunk, but that special kind of drunk, that you're a better driver because you know you're drunk. You know the kinda drunk that you probably shouldn't drive but you do anyway, because... come on, you gotta get a car home, right, I mean what do they expect me to do? Take a bus? Is that what they want? For me to take a bus? Well screw that! You take a bus!
Cleveland : I'm that kind of drunk.
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TV Announcer : We now return to Showgirls...
Peter Griffin : Yeah!
TV Announcer : -on TBS.
Peter Griffin : Aww.
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Peter Griffin : Any problem caused by a tank can be solved by a tank.
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Peter Griffin : [after receiving news that he's being laid off] Man, this sucks worse than Easter Sunday at Richard Gere's house.
[flashback to Peter and Richard Gere standing outside. An Easter egg is lying on the ground in front of Peter]
Richard Gere : Okay, find the Easter egg.
Peter Griffin : I know where it is. It's in your butt!
Richard Gere : No.
Peter Griffin : Yeah... I know the story. It's in your butt!
Richard Gere : Mr. Griffin, if you'd just look on the ground for five seconds, I'm sure you'd find it.
Peter Griffin : Nope, in your butt!
Richard Gere : Look, I'm tired of this stupid rumor!
Peter Griffin : In your butt!
Richard Gere : Mr. Griffin...
Peter Griffin : [interrupting] Butt!
Richard Gere : Mr. Griffin...
Peter Griffin : [interrupting] Butt!
Richard Gere : You know what? Just get the hell out of here!
Peter Griffin : Fine! Weirdo!
[a rodent crawls out from Richard Gere's pant legs, grabs the Easter Egg, and runs back into the pant legs]
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Lois Griffin : So, how was work today Meg?
Peter Griffin : [blows raspberry]
Lois Griffin : Ugh, Peter, you lost your job because of a superstore, you shouldn't blame Meg.
Peter Griffin : [blows raspberry]
Lois Griffin : And you can stop making that fart sound every time someone says "Meg".
Peter Griffin : [blows raspberry]
Brian Griffin : So, how was your day exploiting the town's resources Meg?
Peter Griffin : [blows raspberry]
Chris Griffin : Hahahahaha! MEG!
Peter Griffin : [blows raspberry]
Chris Griffin : MEGGGGGG!
Peter Griffin : [blows longer raspberry]
Chris Griffin : MEG! MEG! MEG! MEG! MEG! MEG! MEG!
Peter Griffin : [blows 7 raspberries]
Chris Griffin : [quietly] Meg.
Peter Griffin : [blows quieter raspberry]
