- Captain James T. Kirk: D'you think Harry Mudd is down there, Spock?
- Mr. Spock: The probability of his presence on Motherlode is 81% plus or minus .53.
- Doctor McCoy: Why can't you just say Mudd's probably there?
- Mr. Spock: I just did, Doctor.
- Captain James T. Kirk: I thought we left you on the robot planet, Harry, permanently.
- Harcourt Fenton Mudd: Never underestimate the spirit of Harcourt Fenton Mudd. I, um, borrowed a vehicle...
- Mr. Spock: Stole a spaceship.
- Harcourt Fenton Mudd: ...and left to find haven on Ilyra VI. A charming planet, an innocent and friendly populace...
- Captain James T. Kirk: To whom you sold the Starfleet Space Academy.
- Mr. Spock: Captain... um, Doctor, I... wish to report a, um... a number of very strange, um... EMOTIONS.
- Doctor McCoy: What?
- Captain James T. Kirk: What?
- Mr. Spock: Thanks, Jim. It's good to have a friend like you.
- Captain James T. Kirk: Strange, that's the way I feel about you, too. My dear friend, Spock.
- Captain James T. Kirk: Spock, can't you take your hands off her?
- Mr. Spock: That's my affair.
- Nurse Christine Chapel: Captain, please.
- Doctor McCoy: Did I ever tell you about the time I saved Captain Kirk's life? Or Spock's?
- [the girl shakes her head]
- Doctor McCoy: And my dear friend Scotty, and that pretty little Lt. Uhura, I've saved just about everybody on this here ship. If the Enterprise had a heart, I'd save her, too. Now, let's talk about your heart, my dear.
- Harcourt Fenton Mudd: Don't bother to thank me.
- Nurse Christine Chapel: Well, I hadn't planned on it.