Metalocalypse (TV Series)
Dethwater (2006)
Tommy Blacha: Toki Wartooth, William Murderface
Quotes
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William Murderface : [Nathan keeps deleting albums, destroying the world's economy] Well maybe it would be better if I just KILLED MYSELF! Huh? Why don't you just record that? Would that be BRUTAL enough for you? Me being DEAD?
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Nathan Explosion : [the band is reviewing the mix for its new album. Nathan stops the music to think] Huh.
[he cracks his knuckles]
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : [resignedly] Here we go again.
Pickles the Drummer : [Nathan's finger hovers over the "delete" button] Okay, wait. Before we do anything drastic, let's put this all in perspective, Nathan, okay? Look.
[he stomps on a pedal, bringing down a video screen]
Reporter #1 : Dethklok has spent a reported 500 million in the recording studio so far ...
Reporter #2 : [Pickles stomps on another pedal] - fan suicide rate is up, due to the album's late release -
[a fan shoots himself in front of the camera]
Reporter #3 : [Pickles stomps on another pedal] - sources have corroborated that the band has recorded SIXTEEN individual albums, all deleted ...
Reporter #4 : [Pickles stomps on the last pedal] - sources say the Dow Jones decline is directly related to Dethklok frontman Nathan Explosion's constantly deleting a potential new album ...
Pickles the Drummer : [Nathan moves his finger back to the "delete" button as his bandmates urge him not to push it] No, no, no, no, no, don't, no -
[Nathan pushes the button and deletes the album]
Pickles the Drummer : No!
[everyone groans]
Pickles the Drummer : Mmmm! Mother-douchebags! Did it again.
Toki Wartooth : Aw, dudes, what's wrong with that one?
Pickles the Drummer : Let me guess: not "heavy" enough? Not "tuned low" enough? Not "BRUTAL" enough?
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Dudes, we can'ts not tone it down any lower.
William Murderface : Well, maybe it'd be better if I just killed myself, huh? Why don't you record that, huh? Would that be BRUTAL enough for ya, me being dead?
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Somebody should tells Murderface that it's not always - always about him.
Pickles the Drummer : So what? Now we're all the way back to square effin' one?
Nathan Explosion : Yeah, that's right. But here's what we're gonna do: we're gonna re-re-re-record it... right there.
[he points to a spot on the globe in the middle of the ocean]
Nathan Explosion : Right there!
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Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler : [after having his face almost peeled off by listening to "Mermaider"] Stop - the track! This is amazing! I mean, there must be *billions* of fish out there! It's a totally untapped market. And so many hits, too!
Nathan Explosion : "Electric Eel Chair."
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler : Yeah!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : "Scaled and Gutted and Undercooked."
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler : *Yeah*!
William Murderface : "Scuba Tank Filled With Farts."
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler : YEAH! You boys knocked it completely outta the park.
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler : [aside] I am back on top!
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler : [to the band] I'm goin' straight to the label!
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Nathan Explosion : This is metal... for fish.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Fish don't gots no good music to listen to.
William Murderface : Yeah, it's true.
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Nathan Explosion : [Murderface is eating a giant bucket of beans] Maybe take it easy on those beans, Murderface?
Pickles the Drummer : Yeah I know man, have a little decency. I mean, we're stuck together in a freakin' submarine for Christ's sake.
William Murderface : Murderface:
[Spills beans everywhere]
William Murderface : Fine, how 'bout I starve to death, how's that?
[farts]
William Murderface : Aw, excuse me. These boots are killing my feet!
[takes off his boots, farts]
William Murderface : These feet stink.
[vomits]
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Nathan Explosion : Now shut up and listen to this, dick. This is metal... for fish.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Fish don't gots no good metal to listens to.
William Murderface : Yeah... it's true.
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler : Fish, huh?
Nathan Explosion : This one's called "Mermaider."
William Murderface : It's about mermaid murder.
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William Murderface : Hey guys, nuclear submarine power's out.
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William Murderface : Well maybe it'd be better if I just kill myself, huh? Why don't ya just record that, huh? Would that be *brutal* enough for ya, me being dead?