The Brothers Bloom (2008)

Adrien Brody: Bloom

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Bloom : Do you feel cheated?

  Penelope Stamp : The trick to not feeling cheated is to learn how to cheat.

• Bloom : How did you find me?

  Penelope Stamp : Bang Bang.

  Bloom : Bang Bang?

  Penelope Stamp : She gave me her cell number.

  Bloom : Bang Bang has a cell phone?

• Bloom : You don't understand what my brother does. He writes his cons the way dead Russians write novels, with thematic arcs and embedded symbolism and shit. And he wrote me as the vulnerable anti-hero. And that's why you think you want to kiss me. It's a con.

• Bloom : Eat your waffles, fat man.

• Stephen : The score to beat is 7.9. Keep your head in the game, that Japanese judge is very tough.

  Bloom : This is a banana seat, man.

  [Stephen and Bang Bang stare at him] 

  Bloom : Don't give me that blank look. You know what a goddamn banana seat is.

• Penelope Stamp : Oh my god, I'm so horny!

  Bloom : [exiting]  Goodnight.

• Bloom : I can't wake up next to another stranger, who thinks they know me, or even wants to know me, cause I don't know - who - I'm thirty five years old, and I, I'm useless, I'm crippled, I don't, I've only ever lived life through these roles that aren't me, that are written for me by you.

  Stephen : Tell me what you want.

  Bloom : Why? So you can write me a role in a story where I get it? You're not listening to me. I want a real... thing, I wanna do things how I don't know are gonna work out, a-I, want, a...

  Stephen : You want an unwritten life.

• Bloom : What was your childhood like?

  Penelope Stamp : I make cameras out of watermelons.

• Bloom : There's actually a nack to this. If you're trying to fast-track to a mark's sympathies, there's nothing quite as effective as having your first conversation be from a hospital bed... they put you in.

• Bloom : Trying to get something real by telling yourself stories is a trap.

• [last lines] 

  Penelope Stamp : He said to me, there's no such thing as an unwritten life. Just a badly written one.

  Bloom : Oh God.

  Penelope Stamp : I love you Bloom. You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna live. Like we're telling the best story in the whole world.

  Penelope Stamp : Are you ready?

  Bloom : [narrating]  And Stephen said something else one. The perfect con is one where everyone involved gets just the thing they wanted.

• Stephen : See, you've reached an unethical conclusion. You think you want out, but you don't. One last con.

  Bloom : Where are we going?

  Stephen : New Jersey.

  Bloom : ...I'll get my coat...